Any Lesbian couples out there?

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Rlgood
Posts: 99
Joined: Wed Jul 10, 2019 2:31 pm

Re: Any Lesbian couples out there?

#426 Post by Rlgood » Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:38 pm

Louise - fantastic news!!! So so pleased for you guys I have been wondering how you got on. Glad all went as it should, we will have to try keep each other sane during the 2ww lol. How lovely your test date is on your anniversary too 💞

Robyn - I've been wondering where you were and hoping everything ok with you guys, don't apologise though we all have our own things going on. Is today day 8? It is very early so please don't be thinking anything yet, one of the reasons I recommend the First Response is because before I had my eldest I became a bit of a pee on a stick fanatic ha! In amongst all my research it turns out each test detects HCG at different levels. The FR ones detect smaller amounts than most which means they can give accurate results even before a period is due. God I sound like an advert 😂 obvs everyone is different and will have different levels at diff times etc but I've just always found them really reliable in my experience.
I'm so sorry you've had a crappy day. Hope the beach was fun and took your mind off things a bit. Sending lots of love and virtual hugs, always here if you need to talk or vent! xxxx

I've been resting up yes like Helen was with you Lucy won't let me lift a finger lol, been feeling fine Lucy is good too. Think as we knew it was gonna be a 99% chance that she wouldn't be in with me she kinda had come to terms with it by the time we got there. Least she could come into clinic this time and not just be sat in the carpark feeling like a spare part. Xx

Robyn9988
Posts: 118
Joined: Fri Jul 03, 2020 8:46 am

Re: Any Lesbian couples out there?

#427 Post by Robyn9988 » Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:41 pm

Louise90 wrote:
Thu Jul 30, 2020 8:58 pm
Hi Rachael

Thanks for thinking of us! We are good.
We had embryo transfer this afternoon - similar to you, just felt like a smear. We had 3 embryos to freeze and they are taking the remaining 7 embryos to day 6 to see if we get any more to freeze as they were all hatching blastocysts. We feel so lucky.
Our OTD is 12th August which is our anniversary 🥰

Glad all went well for you today and so pleased Lucy could be in recovery and waiting for you. I have everything crossed for you both.

Robyn - how are you feeling? I can imagine I am going to be reading into every symptom I get!

Great news you had your ET today, glad it all went well lovely OTD is on your anniversary ❤️ Generally I’m okay thank you, today’s been really rough but I’ll brush it off, I shouldn’t have tested, even knowing it’s too early, wasn’t my first wee of the day, didn’t use an early detection test it’s really messed with my head, certainly won’t do it again til OTD! Feeling more positive tonight. Oh yes, it’s hard not to obsess over symptoms, you keeping busy? X
1st cycle of Shared Motherhood IVF June 20.. x3 5day Blastocysts ❤️
x1 fresh cycle 23/07/20.. BFN 05/08/20 😢
x2 Frosties - FET Sept 20?? 🤞

Robyn9988
Posts: 118
Joined: Fri Jul 03, 2020 8:46 am

Re: Any Lesbian couples out there?

#428 Post by Robyn9988 » Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:57 pm

Rlgood wrote:
Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:38 pm
Louise - fantastic news!!! So so pleased for you guys I have been wondering how you got on. Glad all went as it should, we will have to try keep each other sane during the 2ww lol. How lovely your test date is on your anniversary too 💞

Robyn - I've been wondering where you were and hoping everything ok with you guys, don't apologise though we all have our own things going on. Is today day 8? It is very early so please don't be thinking anything yet, one of the reasons I recommend the First Response is because before I had my eldest I became a bit of a pee on a stick fanatic ha! In amongst all my research it turns out each test detects HCG at different levels. The FR ones detect smaller amounts than most which means they can give accurate results even before a period is due. God I sound like an advert 😂 obvs everyone is different and will have different levels at diff times etc but I've just always found them really reliable in my experience.
I'm so sorry you've had a crappy day. Hope the beach was fun and took your mind off things a bit. Sending lots of love and virtual hugs, always here if you need to talk or vent! xxxx

I've been resting up yes like Helen was with you Lucy won't let me lift a finger lol, been feeling fine Lucy is good too. Think as we knew it was gonna be a 99% chance that she wouldn't be in with me she kinda had come to terms with it by the time we got there. Least she could come into clinic this time and not just be sat in the carpark feeling like a spare part. Xx
Thanks for your lovely message, feeling all the hugs! ❤️❤️ Feel awful waffling on on your big day!! Yes it is day 8, was all the wrong circumstances to test as well as I said to Louise, so silly! 🙈 I do feel better now, had a good cry, Helens so positive which really helps.

Oh your info on tests is brill, I’ll defiantly get some of those, however, said to Helen were not even buying them until the day before I can’t do today again, and I don’t trust myself if they are in the house! Just want this baby so much!! 💗

Fab you’ve been resting up.. 😂😂 I think Helen and Lucy sound so similar, I think we would all get on fab outside this virtual world! ❤️ Yes it’s great she was at least able to be in recovery.. you did well holding your bladder that long, I legit worried I might pee on the woman doing the procedure, practically ran to the loo! 😂 have you any plans for the next few days??

Oh Work was also insane on Wednesday came home and basically fell asleep on my feet, everyone was lovely at work, everyone wanted to see our little blastocyst video, generally being very excited for us which was nice! Xx
1st cycle of Shared Motherhood IVF June 20.. x3 5day Blastocysts ❤️
x1 fresh cycle 23/07/20.. BFN 05/08/20 😢
x2 Frosties - FET Sept 20?? 🤞

Robyn9988
Posts: 118
Joined: Fri Jul 03, 2020 8:46 am

Re: Any Lesbian couples out there?

#429 Post by Robyn9988 » Thu Jul 30, 2020 10:06 pm

Cherrie91 wrote:
Thu Jul 30, 2020 5:25 pm
Hey all sorry work has been super busy 🙄 glad for a day off haha.
Robyn- we tried nhs route and got told we would be funded by the doctors until we had our first consultation and then found out it wasn't actually funded all my bloods and stuff were good it was then just the internal scan I needed to check obviously internally so until then I won't know i suppose. How are you and Helen doing?

Rachael- hey yes we are good thanks. Yes I rang them yesterday to be told the same they aren't doing face-to-face appointments and they have no idea when they will be allowed to 😔 good luck today I have been thinking about you today ❤️ xx

Keep us updated ❤️ Keeping everything crossed you have some progress soon xxx
1st cycle of Shared Motherhood IVF June 20.. x3 5day Blastocysts ❤️
x1 fresh cycle 23/07/20.. BFN 05/08/20 😢
x2 Frosties - FET Sept 20?? 🤞

Rlgood
Posts: 99
Joined: Wed Jul 10, 2019 2:31 pm

Re: Any Lesbian couples out there?

#430 Post by Rlgood » Fri Jul 31, 2020 9:34 am

Morning!

Robyn hope you are feeling better today. I saw something on Facebook which I'm going to live by for the next couple of weeks. It said "stop imagining fake scenarios and hurting your own feelings". It's pretty much the story of my life lol, and just goes to show until you know the outcome of something you shouldn't think any differently. Again easier said than done like I've said before, I'm still feeling pretty positive but keep getting niggling little thoughts like what if I don't ovulate this month, what if trigger wasn't enough to make it happen, what if it's a crap quality egg, what if the sperm all just fell out when I went to the loo lol, what if doesn't matter now I guess as it's out of our hands!!

Good idea about the tests, get them when you need them and you won't be tempted again!!
Ha I wasn't too bad on the wee front until they started scanning me and then I really had to hold it lol.
Yes I think we would all really get on too. Maybe we should arrange a meet up once this virus calms a bit more 💜

Glad work was a good distraction for you and it's great your colleagues are all so supportive. Not long now at all til OTD 🙂 you're in the home run!

We're just gonna take each day as it comes, starting with our eldests birthday tomorrow so that takes up the majority of the weekend, Lucy's on nights then Monday to Sunday which is rubbish cos it's a long time for me to be alone with my thoughts but she's got like 3 weeks off after so can't complain too much.

You guys up to much this weekend? X

Robyn9988
Posts: 118
Joined: Fri Jul 03, 2020 8:46 am

Re: Any Lesbian couples out there?

#431 Post by Robyn9988 » Fri Jul 31, 2020 6:00 pm

Hi Rachael,

How’s your first day been? Hope your feeling well? I am better today thank you, had to sleep on my back last night as my boobs are so sore! So been trying to take that as a positive sign and not overthink beyond that..

Oh I love that phrase! Very relevant for us.. I’ll certainly try and keep that in mind just told Helen she thinks it’s great.. I love a good phrase like that generally in life, I’ve suffered quite significant anxiety In my past and used to have little phrases like that dotted all over the house and it really helped.

I think it’s natural you have had those fleeting thoughts, I remember feeling quite vulnerable to the process in those early days after feeling like its done now it’s down to my body and to just try and trust the process but it’s just scary to have that little control.

Aww that would be amazing, we definitely should one day like you say when everything settles ❤️

Aww lovely, that’s a really nice way to spend the weekend ❤️ What plans have you got? Gosh poor Lucy that’s such a lot of nights!! Does she normally do so many on? I’m at work all weekend so that should be a nice distraction then it will be the longest 2 days ever I imagine! Xx
1st cycle of Shared Motherhood IVF June 20.. x3 5day Blastocysts ❤️
x1 fresh cycle 23/07/20.. BFN 05/08/20 😢
x2 Frosties - FET Sept 20?? 🤞

Rlgood
Posts: 99
Joined: Wed Jul 10, 2019 2:31 pm

Re: Any Lesbian couples out there?

#432 Post by Rlgood » Fri Jul 31, 2020 8:53 pm

It's not been too bad thank you although still a little crampy again. Did you suffer with anything like that the days after ET?

We went for a last minute bbq this aft at my mother in laws cos the weather was so nice, managed to get home before the thunderstorm though!

Pleased to hear you're feeling better today, a good phrase certainly helps keep focus sometimes!! Your symptoms certainly sound promising so just keep thinking about that and yesterdays test never happened!!

No specific plans really just gonna all spend the day together prob watch a few films, eat cake, family will be dropping by with pressies etc. Can't believe she's gonna be 11. Making me feel old 😵

7 nights on is pretty much norm for Lucy, plus side to it is she then gets 7 days off. That's when I'm planning on getting some reading done anyway next week if the kids let me through the day while she's in bed. If not there's always the night! Prob get out for some walks/picnics etc too if the weather stays nice.

Hope work makes the weekend fly by for you then 2 days after that will be nothing, even though yes sure they'll prob feel like 2 of the longest days ever!! Counting down with you xxx

Robyn9988
Posts: 118
Joined: Fri Jul 03, 2020 8:46 am

Re: Any Lesbian couples out there?

#433 Post by Robyn9988 » Sun Aug 02, 2020 9:56 am

Hi Rachael,

How are you doing today?? Hope your feeling well? Yes I had cramps for about 4/5 days after and a weird tummy, not like D/V, but just felt uncomfortable, then it all just resolved. Are you still resting up a little? You coping with the wait okay so far??

BBQ sounds like it was nice, always good getting someone else to do the cooking 🙈😂 did you say your families know? I remember you saying you have a good relationship with Lucy’s fam. Oh the thunderstorm was impressive wasn’t it! I’m not sure how close we are location wise, we are just outside of Hull.. I dragged the kids up to look at the lightening but fortnite was much more interesting 😂

It’s crazy isn’t it having an 11 year old, our oldest will be 11 in October, can’t believe it!! Has she had a lovely weekend so far??

I guess the nights are beneficial for getting more time off either side, just so long for you guys to be apart.. coming up to 4 nights I often get a bit down in the dumps almost behaving like I’m going away for a while or something!! 😂 I’m such a homebody!

I’m day 11 today, can’t bloody bare it! Last day at work today tho before we find out, going to try and keep busy next few days.. our youngest is away with his Dad all next week so quieter at home too 🙈 xx
1st cycle of Shared Motherhood IVF June 20.. x3 5day Blastocysts ❤️
x1 fresh cycle 23/07/20.. BFN 05/08/20 😢
x2 Frosties - FET Sept 20?? 🤞

Rlgood
Posts: 99
Joined: Wed Jul 10, 2019 2:31 pm

Re: Any Lesbian couples out there?

#434 Post by Rlgood » Mon Aug 03, 2020 1:04 pm

Hiya Robyn. Omg so jel wish we were you guys with just 2 sleeps til test day!! It seems to have gone quite quick for you guys from my perspective, bet it hasn't felt like that for you!!

Cramps seem to have eased up now but every little twinge I'm like what's that?? I'm being ridiculous Robyn, I've had a pretty shit couple of days. I don't know what I expected this to be like I knew it wasn't going to be easy. Spent most of the weekend stressing thinking there's no way it's going to work first time. Been in floods of tears and then thinking well that's it now I've ruined our chances cos I've cried so much... I really don't know what's with me! I think it's all just come to a head, it's took us 18 long months since we decided to do it to get to the point where we are now and having no control over this bit I'm majorly struggling with and it's only 4dpiui 🙈🙈

Feeling better now and just trying to keep busy, the more days go by the easier I seem to be finding it now. Lucy starts her nights this week and she's been doing everything since Thurs so be nice to get a bit of routine going again tomorrow with housework walking dog etc.

Lucy's family knew we were going to try but have no idea we're doing it now. Nobody else knows.
You're not too far from us we are more Leeds way.

Have you done your shopping today?? Any other plans for today and tomorrow? Take it you'll test first thing Wednesday, I have everything crossed for you both and I'm always wondering how you both are xxx

Robyn9988
Posts: 118
Joined: Fri Jul 03, 2020 8:46 am

Re: Any Lesbian couples out there?

#435 Post by Robyn9988 » Mon Aug 03, 2020 4:03 pm

Hi Rachael,

Oh no! I’m sorry your having a hard time with it, I completely understand how you feel. I have felt exactly the same, especially up to day 10, I don’t think you can prepare yourself for how much you think about it, worry about it, stress about all the outcomes. Me and Helen have even had a few moments over the last couple of days not arguments but she struggles sometimes with how negative I can be and reluctance to think it has worked. I have days were I feel things and days were I don’t and that’s really tough.

It’s easy enough to say but try not to think about all the days you have until test date it’s overwhelming and feels impossible, try not to overthink, just literally focus on one day at a time, everyday is one less. It’s also okay to have shitty days, its a rollercoaster this process and you will have good days too. Remember your little phrase! .. keep going, keep smiling, your doing amazing.

I haven’t been shopping yet 🙈 we decided to go out for some breakfast, I sound like an old woman but we recently planted loads of pretty flowers in our front garden (my first gardening experience, but apparently I love it!😆). So got some more plants whilst we were out, spent the last few hours weeding and planing the new ones.. it’s very therapeutic!

I need to clean the house, do some washing, food shopping at some point so figure that can roll into tomorrow to keep me going. We got the test today, figured if I go tomorrow our oldest is with me and he will def put 2 and 2 together if he sees it, so sent helen into the shop after breakfast. Aww, we are okay, bizarrely I think the wait gets easier when you get closer you can see the light! I’m very scared for actually doing the test tho, there’s something very ultimate and scary about it!

What have you been doing today?? Lucy going on nights tonight?? Xx
1st cycle of Shared Motherhood IVF June 20.. x3 5day Blastocysts ❤️
x1 fresh cycle 23/07/20.. BFN 05/08/20 😢
x2 Frosties - FET Sept 20?? 🤞

Rlgood
Posts: 99
Joined: Wed Jul 10, 2019 2:31 pm

Re: Any Lesbian couples out there?

#436 Post by Rlgood » Mon Aug 03, 2020 7:37 pm

Glad to know I'm not alone in feeling this way. I'm generally stressy but also quite a glass half full kinda person at the same time. If that even works - depends what day it is 😂
Lucy had to have a bit of a word with me anyway and I'm glad she did cos I needed a bit of a reality check!!

I find it amazing how massively different this journey is compared to when I was waiting to find out if I was pregnant before. It's insane!

Yeah good idea taking one day at a time, and like I said I am finding it easier the more days go by. I can't believe tomorrow marks a week since trigger that only seems 2 minutes ago lol yet IUI seems ages ago cos of this waiting to test malarkey lol.

Oh me and Lucy like a good breakfast out. Haha you don't sound like an old woman for doing gardening!! I wish I had the patience for it I think it's a great hobby and even better it makes your garden pretty! It doesn't matter what it is anyway if it occupies your mind that's great!
Sounds like you have tomorrow sorted too so that's great. Good idea about getting the test today - you don't want an already intense situation made any worse by little questions.
I can see where you're coming from of being terrified of doing the test I know I'll be exactly the same! Like we're counting down the days etc but once it's here it's like you'll know one way or another and I guess one of the perks of not knowing is just that - you don't know one way or the other so still have that hope. If the test just says no all that's then taken away in the blink of an eye. But it's not going to say no cos we're being positive 🙂🤞🏻

Not done much today just a bit of a lazy one. Did a bit of washing, some reading, yes Lucy's gone to work so for the next week I'll only see her for a few hours a day. So I'm planning on finishing my book this week that's the task I've set myself and I'm gonna watch the Married at First Sight Australia series cos I liked the British one xx

Robyn9988
Posts: 118
Joined: Fri Jul 03, 2020 8:46 am

Re: Any Lesbian couples out there?

#437 Post by Robyn9988 » Tue Aug 04, 2020 11:31 am

Morning..

Oh for sure!! You sound exactly the same as me!! 😂 despite worrying you have lots of optimism too, some days one just overshadows the other. Aww so glad to hear your feeling better, Lucy has clearly helped massively too for you to have a shift in how your feeling ❤️

I wasn’t really trying before but I can imagine it’s a total different game, you realise how complicated and how just precisely everything needs to align when you have treatment whereas I don’t think you always realise that until you’ve been on this journey.

That’s mad today is a week since your trigger! Like you said for me, to me it feels like it’s going quickly for you 😂

😂 it’s literally a boarder! But it’s keeping me busy, we need to finish our youngest room redecoration but Helens been reluctant to me doing any until after test date, it’s a lot of sanding etc.

I can’t believe OTD is in the morning! It’s insane! Keeping myself positive today, hope I sleep, I slept terrible last night was up 2-4! Then up at 5 for pessaries! Sounds like you have a nice relaxed week planned, do you have the kids this week? Oh awesome we loved the married at 1st sight! We will have to watch it xx
1st cycle of Shared Motherhood IVF June 20.. x3 5day Blastocysts ❤️
x1 fresh cycle 23/07/20.. BFN 05/08/20 😢
x2 Frosties - FET Sept 20?? 🤞

Rlgood
Posts: 99
Joined: Wed Jul 10, 2019 2:31 pm

Re: Any Lesbian couples out there?

#438 Post by Rlgood » Tue Aug 04, 2020 7:44 pm

Hiya Robyn. Eeeeeeekkkk test day tomorrow, test day tomorrow... 🎶🎉💜

I didn't realise the pessaries were so time restrictive you have to do them at 5am everyday 😵 so 5am tomorrow you will know??? Soooooo excited for you and nervous. How's Helen now that it's literally hours away??? Is she excited?? Has today been as bad as you thought? Bet you can't wait to go to bed now 😂
Hopefully you'll sleep better tonight. I slept rubbish last night too but I usually do when it's Lucy's first night on and I find I never sleep same when she's not here.

Yes best idea leaving the bedroom til you know for sure, we bought new bunkbeds for the girls room yesterday and Lucy went with her parents to pick them up and when they got home she wouldn't let me help them with it in the slightest 🙈

Have all 3 kids til Friday then our youngest is going on a little mini holiday with Lucy's parents so be a bit quieter over the weekend and into next week.
Today's been a good day, needed a couple of bits from the supermarket and it was just so nice to be out of the house and concentrating on something else entirely - even if it was only for 20 mins!!

Yep def give the married at first sight thing ago, I've been watching it on all4.

If we don't speak again before tomorrow just know I'll be thinking of you both xxxx

Rlgood
Posts: 99
Joined: Wed Jul 10, 2019 2:31 pm

Re: Any Lesbian couples out there?

#439 Post by Rlgood » Tue Aug 04, 2020 7:56 pm

Louise90 wrote:
Thu Jul 30, 2020 8:58 pm
Hi Rachael

Thanks for thinking of us! We are good.
We had embryo transfer this afternoon - similar to you, just felt like a smear. We had 3 embryos to freeze and they are taking the remaining 7 embryos to day 6 to see if we get any more to freeze as they were all hatching blastocysts. We feel so lucky.
Our OTD is 12th August which is our anniversary 🥰

Glad all went well for you today and so pleased Lucy could be in recovery and waiting for you. I have everything crossed for you both.

Robyn - how are you feeling? I can imagine I am going to be reading into every symptom I get!
Hello Louise, I hope you and your OH are weathering this 2ww a lot better than I 🙈😂

How's things with you guys all good I hope? How is your OH feeling now? I know you said she had lots of follicles etc, is she feeling back to her more usual self now? How are you finding the meds? Have you felt any different since Thursday?
Did you get any updates on those remaining embryos?
Hope you are both doing well 🙂

Rachael. X

Robyn9988
Posts: 118
Joined: Fri Jul 03, 2020 8:46 am

Re: Any Lesbian couples out there?

#440 Post by Robyn9988 » Tue Aug 04, 2020 9:27 pm

Rlgood wrote:
Tue Aug 04, 2020 7:44 pm
Hiya Robyn. Eeeeeeekkkk test day tomorrow, test day tomorrow... 🎶🎉💜

I didn't realise the pessaries were so time restrictive you have to do them at 5am everyday 😵 so 5am tomorrow you will know??? Soooooo excited for you and nervous. How's Helen now that it's literally hours away??? Is she excited?? Has today been as bad as you thought? Bet you can't wait to go to bed now 😂
Hopefully you'll sleep better tonight. I slept rubbish last night too but I usually do when it's Lucy's first night on and I find I never sleep same when she's not here.

Yes best idea leaving the bedroom til you know for sure, we bought new bunkbeds for the girls room yesterday and Lucy went with her parents to pick them up and when they got home she wouldn't let me help them with it in the slightest 🙈

Have all 3 kids til Friday then our youngest is going on a little mini holiday with Lucy's parents so be a bit quieter over the weekend and into next week.
Today's been a good day, needed a couple of bits from the supermarket and it was just so nice to be out of the house and concentrating on something else entirely - even if it was only for 20 mins!!

Yep def give the married at first sight thing ago, I've been watching it on all4.

If we don't speak again before tomorrow just know I'll be thinking of you both xxxx

Hiiii..

oh god I know, I can’t believe it’s literally in a matter of hours!! So scary!! I’ll let you know soon as it’s a reasonable hour 😂😂

Yeah the pessaries need to be 12hrs apart and for work I have to be up at half 5 so was really the only option as I have to lay down for half an hour after to let them dissolve 🙈 Helens super excited she can’t wait, she’s sticking with her positive feelings, I just hope she’s right! Today has been okay really, have moments where I forgot then realise again and have that drop in your tummy with nerves but I feel okay tonight.

It’s nice their so protective isn’t it, not being allowed to carry loads of washing etc cute! We are very lucky.. see some full arseholes at work as you can imagine, don’t seem remotely interested.

Oh nice they are going away this weekend, nice to break up the time isn’t it since they have been off so long, will you two do something nice?

Probs won’t be back on tonight, thank you in advance for all your lovely chat and support either way, you’ve been amazing.. be you next, can’t wait hope we both get the best news xx
1st cycle of Shared Motherhood IVF June 20.. x3 5day Blastocysts ❤️
x1 fresh cycle 23/07/20.. BFN 05/08/20 😢
x2 Frosties - FET Sept 20?? 🤞

Rlgood
Posts: 99
Joined: Wed Jul 10, 2019 2:31 pm

Re: Any Lesbian couples out there?

#441 Post by Rlgood » Tue Aug 04, 2020 10:35 pm

Yes please do I'll be checking on here with eager anticipation as soon as I get up!!

The pessaries really control your days a lot then I never realized, bit of a pain on your days off but necessary, how long do you keep using them? I kinda wish they'd put me on them just for that extra safety net.

Yes we are both very lucky to have such wonderful wives by our side 💜💜

Lucy's still gonna be on nights at the weekend and the older 2 will still be at home so no weekend plans for us.

You're so welcome I've loved chatting with you we've got on so well and thank you for all your kind words and encouragement especially during your 2ww too, it's been super helpful. Let's hope we both get the outcome we want and can be preggo buddies too. Xxx

Robyn9988
Posts: 118
Joined: Fri Jul 03, 2020 8:46 am

Re: Any Lesbian couples out there?

#442 Post by Robyn9988 » Wed Aug 05, 2020 7:04 am

Unfortunately we have had 3 BFN’s, devastated is an understatement 😢😢😢 Just so so sad, will call CARE later but assume I can stop all the meds 💔.

I’m staying on here for you but might just have a few days offline, don't you get all in your head, it’s going to work for you. Talk soon xx
1st cycle of Shared Motherhood IVF June 20.. x3 5day Blastocysts ❤️
x1 fresh cycle 23/07/20.. BFN 05/08/20 😢
x2 Frosties - FET Sept 20?? 🤞

Rlgood
Posts: 99
Joined: Wed Jul 10, 2019 2:31 pm

Re: Any Lesbian couples out there?

#443 Post by Rlgood » Wed Aug 05, 2020 10:13 am

Robyn I'm absolutely gutted for you both. I genuinely thought it had worked for you I had such a good feeling about it. I'm so so sorry, I guess there's nothing I can say to make you both feel any better. You and Helen just take the time you need to process this, I'm so in shock I can't imagine how you must be feeling. 😭😭😭

Sorry it's taken me a while to reply I've only just woke up cos I barely slept last night again.
Look after yourself lovely I'll be here to chat with you just as soon as you're ready. Sending you both lots of love and hugs xxxxxxxxxx

Robyn9988
Posts: 118
Joined: Fri Jul 03, 2020 8:46 am

Re: Any Lesbian couples out there?

#444 Post by Robyn9988 » Wed Aug 05, 2020 4:51 pm

Hi Rachael,

Thanks for all your love and hugs..

Feeling a little bit more composed now, took the rest of the week off sick from work.. I can’t tell you what an absolute shock it was to us this morning, think we both just felt like we had been hit by a bus, with the symptoms I had we were so convinced it had worked.. just to see all 3 negatives was just so painful, we had complete meltdowns but are feeling a bit better now we had our eldest looked after today by grandma and we went for a little walk into the village and just had some time. Despite it being negative, the agonising wait and the hope is over and there is some weird peace in that.

We have spoken with Care and I’ve stopped the meds expect AF will arrive in 2-5 days. We have a consultant review booked in for Monday by telephone, we both felt that we want to get straight back into things and minimise the time between our next go (my mum has kindly offered to pay for our next FET, which we are so unbelievably grateful and lucky for) we are very seriously considering having both our 2 remaining Frosties put back in despite the risks we think it’s worth it but keen to talk more with the consultant.

It looks like we might be able to start again mid September, I have to wait for this AF and we would start with my next, but imagine my body might be a bit messed up as I haven’t had a period since mid June. The FET cycle is much shorter too only about 17 days or so before transfer.

Ive read posts before from people who have had negatives and I’ve always thought how can you sound so okay and just be talking about the next steps, but I completely get it now and think all of this is really helping us to focus on moving forward and not dwelling, we are completely heartbroken but at least we have a plan and that gives us comfort.

How are you doing today? Hope you’ve been okay? I know hearing other people’s bad news can get in your head ❤️ Hope your days are passing quick xx
1st cycle of Shared Motherhood IVF June 20.. x3 5day Blastocysts ❤️
x1 fresh cycle 23/07/20.. BFN 05/08/20 😢
x2 Frosties - FET Sept 20?? 🤞

Rlgood
Posts: 99
Joined: Wed Jul 10, 2019 2:31 pm

Re: Any Lesbian couples out there?

#445 Post by Rlgood » Wed Aug 05, 2020 8:09 pm

Hi lovely, didn't expect to hear from you again today.

Good call about taking the rest of the week off, you sound like your in the best possible hands with Helen I know you'll look after each other 💜💜

Pleased to hear you are both feeling a little better but be gentle with yourselves, it's a massive shock to the system. I feel bad for saying to you I had a good feeling about it working for you guys but I so honestly did, I was sure it would be good news and I am so so sorry for you both 💔

I can see what you mean about finding peace in such a shitty situation, I said something similar myself to someone else on here earlier - the 2ww is quite simply put... torture, to just not know either way, constantly being on edge, symptom checking, google, etc etc, but at least once test day comes obviously we all know what we want it to say, but if it doesn't tell us what we want to hear it's just pure devastation and disbelief but in amongst it all at least you know at that point one way or the other and you are no longer in that hellish limbo phase.

You will both feel better as time goes on, but it will take time and you will have the good and the bad days just like we do throughout this whole rollercoaster ride.
I think it's fab that you've already started putting plans together for your next moves and how amazing your mum has offered to pay for it. That's such a weight off on top of everything you are going through/have been through at the moment.

I think you're both handling it like complete bosses, I just wish I could come give you both a great big hug. Been so worried about you both today 😔😔

Hope you are having a chilled night tonight together xxxxxx

Cherrie91
Posts: 16
Joined: Mon Apr 27, 2020 1:02 pm

Re: Any Lesbian couples out there?

#446 Post by Cherrie91 » Wed Aug 05, 2020 9:16 pm

Robyn I am so gutted for both ❤️ it's good to look at the next plan but also remember to take the time for yourselves as well! That's a lovely thing for your mum to do xx

Louise90
Posts: 8
Joined: Fri Jul 03, 2020 6:19 pm

Re: Any Lesbian couples out there?

#447 Post by Louise90 » Thu Aug 06, 2020 12:12 pm

Hey ladies

Robyn, so sorry to hear your news. Thinking of you both. Take some time to process and heal.

We are d7pt (or 8, don’t really know if ET is day 1 or 0?!). We didn’t get any more to freeze on day 6, but happy with our 3 in the freezer! I am not weathering the 2ww well at all, H is doing a lot better than me! I swing from one extreme to the other within the space of a couple of hours. Trying not to over analyse every minute symptom I get. OTD Wednesday, but H is on nights Mon-Fri next week and I will have gone to work by the time she gets in. Still debating testing early but mixed feelings. How are you feeling?

Kinney
Posts: 105
Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2018 7:30 pm

Re: Any Lesbian couples out there?

#448 Post by Kinney » Thu Aug 06, 2020 1:36 pm

Hi ladies,

Just been catching up with this thread, it’s been a long time since I’ve been on.

Robyn, reading your posts really stood out to me. My wife and I did shared motherhood at Care In Sheffield and it was definitely a journey. We were so convinced our first round was going to work, the fact that we would have a BFN never even entered our heads. We’re both healthy, in our 30s, all the tests we did before embryo transfer looked good, there was no reason it shouldn’t work. During the two week wait, I had lots of positive signs and we were convinced it had worked. I still feel that “bam” feeling when we tested and it was a BFN. I felt like I had been hit by a bus. I over analysed everything, convinced it was something that I had done wrong. We were devastated and it took me a while to pick myself back up.

But my wife and I got through it together, it brought us closer and we weighed up all of our options. We knew that this was going to work for us eventually, we just had to keep going.

After an unsuccessful FET, we did a fresh round of IVF. Again, using the shared motherhood route. This wasn’t easy, financially but we managed to scrape the money together for it. We did things differently this time. Short protocol instead of long. I did acupuncture throughout (no idea if this made a difference to our outcome but it definitely chilled me out). I stopped reading all the old wives tales and googling every little thing and we just focused on trying to stay positive, being as healthy as possible and (the most important thing) realising that it was out of our hands. It worked.

Our baby boy is due in two weeks now. It’s not been the pregnancy we dreamed of (thanks covid!) but we realise how lucky we are every single day. I don’t tell you our story to try to sound smug and I hope I don’t sound sanctimonious. I just want you to know that there are people out there who get it, who understand how difficult this journey is and that there is hope. I’m thinking of you and your wife and hope you get through this.
If you want to drop me a line, please do.

Rlgood
Posts: 99
Joined: Wed Jul 10, 2019 2:31 pm

Re: Any Lesbian couples out there?

#449 Post by Rlgood » Thu Aug 06, 2020 8:31 pm

Kinney - wow what a journey you've both been on. Congratulations!!! 2 weeks - not long to go. He's going to be sooooooo loved after how long you've both waited and dreamed of him 💙

Robyn - hope you and Helen are doing as well as you can and spending lots of quality time with each other 😘

Cherrie - still no timescales yet? Have you pestered anymore lol? FX for some news for you soon 🤞🏻

Louise - yes 3 in the freezer is still great! Oh god what are we like, I knew it would be hard but surprised at just how hard!! If you tested early how early do you think you'd go? I'm ok just counting down the days, won't test earlier than 14th Aug so a week tomorrow now. Halfway at least, still feels about 6 years away tho 🤣
Lucy's off all next week so hoping we will be out and about a bit with the kids to occupy the mind a bit!! Aww rubbish shifts for you guys all week, that's not fallen well has it. Is work being a good distraction for you at least?

R. X

Louise90
Posts: 8
Joined: Fri Jul 03, 2020 6:19 pm

Re: Any Lesbian couples out there?

#450 Post by Louise90 » Thu Aug 06, 2020 9:43 pm

I think we’d test Sunday morning. If it’s negative it means we have some time to take it in before work. That will be d10 - you think that’s too early? So difficult to know what to do.
It’s weird that at some points during the day all my symptoms seem to go completely. I woke at 5am this morning with mild cramps similar to AF. Couldn’t get back to sleep for worry - so frustrating!
Yes work is keeping us busy, but still feel like time is standing still. Nice that you have some time off to enjoy next week!

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