Adoption... April 2019

Life after IVF? What other options are available?

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ChasingRainbows
Posts: 213
Joined: Wed Aug 02, 2017 6:38 pm

Adoption... April 2019

#1 Post by ChasingRainbows » Mon Apr 08, 2019 10:15 am

Hi all

Was just wondering if anyone else was thinking of embarking on the adoption journey?

Much love
Chasing xx

Nikkid13
Posts: 156
Joined: Sat Jan 12, 2019 10:53 pm

Re: Adoption... April 2019

#2 Post by Nikkid13 » Mon Apr 08, 2019 4:45 pm

Hi,

I’m considering it, my husband thinks it’s too soon to start on big decisions like this though x

ChasingRainbows
Posts: 213
Joined: Wed Aug 02, 2017 6:38 pm

Re: Adoption... April 2019

#3 Post by ChasingRainbows » Mon Apr 08, 2019 11:03 pm

Hi Nikki

It's so hard isn't it, knowing when is the right time to think about it, being at the same place at the same time, knowing whether ultimately its the right thing to do. It's such mindfield!

How long have you been on your infertility journey for?

Much love
Chasing x

Nikkid13
Posts: 156
Joined: Sat Jan 12, 2019 10:53 pm

Re: Adoption... April 2019

#4 Post by Nikkid13 » Tue Apr 09, 2019 8:56 am

This is our 6th year! We’ve battled for ivf and to be honest it’s left me with nothing but more pain and more heartache. I don’t think my body would cope with another round and to be honest, I don’t feel like I want to try again but I do desperately want to be a mummy.

How about you? X

loulou123
Posts: 33
Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2018 2:16 pm

Re: Adoption... April 2019

#5 Post by loulou123 » Tue Apr 09, 2019 2:09 pm

Would it be okay if I join the conversation?
My boyfriend and I have been trying for around 4 years, and we’re about to start our last cycle of IVF, but then we’re not sure what to do if (or when) that doesn’t work... we’ve been talking about maybe trying surrogacy but my heart says we should just skip straight to adoption as that will be the quickest way to have a family of our own... x
2016 - 3 x IUI (all BFN)
ICSI 1 (1 fresh) - Jan 2017 (BFN)
ICSI 1 (1 frozen) - Apr 2017 (BFN)
ICSI 2 (1 fresh) - Oct 2017 (BFN)
ICSI 2 (2 frozen) - Apr 2018 (BFN)
ICSI 2 (1 frozen) - Nov 2018 (TBC)

Nikkid13
Posts: 156
Joined: Sat Jan 12, 2019 10:53 pm

Re: Adoption... April 2019

#6 Post by Nikkid13 » Tue Apr 09, 2019 8:13 pm

Loulou do what feels right for you. We considered a surrogate but actually I don’t feel I have it in me to wait that long, plus the cost is really high and finding the right person is really hard x

ChasingRainbows
Posts: 213
Joined: Wed Aug 02, 2017 6:38 pm

Re: Adoption... April 2019

#7 Post by ChasingRainbows » Wed Apr 10, 2019 9:39 am

Aww Nikki, it sounds like you're being really sensible, sometimes it's as if you know enough is enough, 6 years is a really long time, I admire your strength. When was your last cycle? We've only been doing it for 3 years, we still have 2 embryos left and we were going to have a transfer following an ERA but that sort of went wrong and too be honest we haven't got the strength to continue it. We went to an adoption open evening in january, it was the first time me and the hubby smiled so much in ages, such a lovely feeling.

Loulou, you are more than welcome to join us. You sound like me, needing to know the next plan, just incase. I so hope this cycle works for you lovely so you don't have to pursue another avenue. We've always known surrogacy wouldn't be for us as we had to use an egg donor, but it certainly is an alternative and will get you a baby unlike adoption. I guess it comes down to what you decide you want more, a family or a baby if that makes sense? Either decision is tough though, I don't envy you having to make that decision bless you.

Take care
Chasing xx

Nikkid13
Posts: 156
Joined: Sat Jan 12, 2019 10:53 pm

Re: Adoption... April 2019

#8 Post by Nikkid13 » Wed Apr 10, 2019 11:58 am

We’ve only had 1 cycle of ivf in feb this year and it has been the worst experience of my life. I’m in constant pain due to an ectopic that they can’t find and have been in and out of hospital with severe pain after having to have a methotrexate injection.

I know I could not go through this again but I want a family and actually if siblings were in need of a home, I’d happily adopt more than one.

We have to apparently wait 6 months to make sure I am definitely not going to do ivf again before we can be considered for adoption but at 34yrs old, if offered a full hysterectomy tomorrow, I would take it to stop all the pain. To me, a baby of my own would mean the world to me, but actually a family is what I really want and there are so many kids wanting a family too.

ChasingRainbows
Posts: 213
Joined: Wed Aug 02, 2017 6:38 pm

Re: Adoption... April 2019

#9 Post by ChasingRainbows » Wed Apr 10, 2019 3:04 pm

Awww Nikki, that sounds horrendous, I'm so sorry you have been through so much and are now in constant pain from it, I really do hope you're coming through the other side now and the pain starts to ease or they at least find the problem. We were told exactly the same however they agreed to take us on sooner than the 6 months at the time I think it was just over 3 months but we then chose to delay returning the forms. They decided after meeting us that they felt we were ready, guess there is no harm contacting them sooner if you felt ready. We never appreciated that you can choose where you go, whether it be your council, another council or a voluntary agency, we were advised to go to a few open evenings and choose the one we felt was perhaps the best for us and what we wanted etc it's a new mindfield that's for sure!!

Chasing xx

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