End of IVF...finding out about adoption

Life after IVF? What other options are available?

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Hedgehugs
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Nov 11, 2020 6:44 pm

End of IVF...finding out about adoption

#1 Post by Hedgehugs » Thu Nov 12, 2020 5:06 pm

Hello 👋

My husband and I want someone to love and nurture. We realise that a biological child is not how we are going to grow our family.

We are going to start looking into adoption after Christmas. We need time to recover from failed embryo transfers and miscarriage first.

Is anyone else currently at the initial stages of adoption?
Any top tips at the very beginning of this journey?

Love Mrs Hugs xxx

vonny
Posts: 1293
Joined: Mon May 01, 2006 6:54 am

Re: End of IVF...finding out about adoption

#2 Post by vonny » Mon Nov 23, 2020 8:07 pm

Hi Hedgehugs, I don't know what made me log in tonight, I've not logged in for years.
I joined I think in 2006, age 43/44 ish, I had birth children but 2nd hubby had none, after 2 rounds of IVF and a miscarriage, we went on to adopt, our children came 10 years ago aged 7 (son) and 4 (daughter).

Would I do it again, absolutely!!

BUT, expect the unexpected in every way, shape or form. Be prepared to take on the world for your children, it will not be plain sailing, there will be heartache here and there and you will have to educate a lot of ignorant people and learn to ignore a lot of ignorant people.

I made some great friends on this board, we still keep in touch (off the board) and we've shared the last decade or so of parenthood to an extent, the highs and the lows, celebrations and sadness. We have supported each other and shared advice and information, we even met in 'real life' which was amazing.

Make your enquiries, don't expect it to be easy but the rewards far outweigh the angst. Every journey is different, just like everyone is different.

If you do decide to go for it probably the best advice I can give is, listen to those who have been through adoption and be prepared to ignore a lot of well meant 'advice' from friends and family who really know nothing about a child who is going through the trauma of adoption. And I don't mean to cause offence, I'm sure you can give this child/these children a wonderful life but you can't obliterate their past. What you can do is help them understand their past, not be fearful of it and put it in perspective from the safety of your love.

Think about joining Adoption UK, it's a good place to start preparing yourselves.

I'm a Mum to birth children and adoptive children and I'm a Grandma five times over, I've also been a registered childminder to others. I would say to you today, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain - wishing you lots of luck, lots of patience, lots of perseverance, lots of trust in yourself, lots of energy to fight for what your children deserve and lots of blessings with an abundance of joy.

All the very best to you XXX ❤️

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