Waiting to miscarry 6th loss

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Leezo
Posts: 276
Joined: Wed Apr 28, 2021 2:19 pm

Waiting to miscarry 6th loss

#1 Post by Leezo » Fri Dec 24, 2021 11:47 am

I am supposed to be 7+5 today but on my viability scan 2 days ago we were measuring 5 weeks. A miscarriage is inevitable but I've been asked to continue the medication for another week before I'll get scanned again, then because of Christmas/New Year it'll be another week for my D&C. I'm in a little panic as we want to get this pregnancy genetically tested as we were using DE to rule out aneuploidy. My worry is that I've nearly 2 weeks to wait until they can remove the tissue and I'm concerned my body will expel it before then. I've been sent home with a pot and just feel a bit lost. I've had a previous MMC at 10 weeks which I lost naturally the day after our confirmation scan and it was horrendous. I've also had 2 previous CP's, a blighted ovum which passed naturally and another MMC at 7.5 weeks which we were able to have a D&C. From experience the D&C was the easiest to get over and have us the opportunity for further testing of the tissue. We have family staying who have no idea that's we've even embarked on this treatment and want to give them the best Christmas possible. If I'm measuring 5 weeks and nearly 8 weeks, the embryo has passed away nearly 3 weeks ago. Will I last another 2 weeks? Any advice would be welcomed
Leah 43yo, OH 46yo - unexplained recurrent pregnancy loss
TTC since 2017
June 2018 MMC 10weeks
Aug 2018 CP 4+6
Oct 2018 MC 6+1
March 2019 CP 4+5
June 2019 MMC 8+4
DE FET Nov 21 - BFP - MMC 7+3
1 frostie on ice
DE FET June 22 - final ❄️ - BFP - CP 4+1

Lou89
Posts: 690
Joined: Fri Mar 19, 2021 6:49 am

Re: Waiting to miscarry 6th loss

#2 Post by Lou89 » Fri Dec 24, 2021 11:01 pm

Leezo our MMC lasted 6 weeks and even then if I hadn’t had surgery there was no sign of it happening naturally. I know everyone is different but wanted to share what happened to me if it made you feel any less anxious. I tried medical management and homeopathic remedies and nothing worked. My body continued to think it was pregnant. I ended up having surgery close to what would of been my 12 weeks 😔. I have been thinking of you lots. Please take care if yourself and I hope you get to find some joy over Christmas xx

Leezo
Posts: 276
Joined: Wed Apr 28, 2021 2:19 pm

Re: Waiting to miscarry 6th loss

#3 Post by Leezo » Sun Dec 26, 2021 10:18 pm

Lou89 wrote:
Fri Dec 24, 2021 11:01 pm
Leezo our MMC lasted 6 weeks and even then if I hadn’t had surgery there was no sign of it happening naturally. I know everyone is different but wanted to share what happened to me if it made you feel any less anxious. I tried medical management and homeopathic remedies and nothing worked. My body continued to think it was pregnant. I ended up having surgery close to what would of been my 12 weeks 😔. I have been thinking of you lots. Please take care if yourself and I hope you get to find some joy over Christmas xx
Hey Lou thanks for replying - sorry I've been missing in action from the other board, I just thought my time on there was through until we get over this little while. Everything is still where it was and we're getting another confirmation scan on Tuesday - we know there's no point but it's protocol and we understand that. Visitors leave tomorrow which will be sad as they've been a great distraction but a slight relief as I would hate for something to happen whilst they were here. I also don't feel any grief yet which is freaking the OH out a lot. I went the pieces the last 5 times so I think he was just expecting me to be a mess. Maybe when we're on our own again I'll relax and it'll all hit me. Counseling booked for Wednesday and review booked for Thursday. I just wish they could do the D&C quicker - we really need to get this LO genetically tested to see whether it was aneuploid or there's something deeper wrong with me.
I hope you are well Lou? Your words have been so kind xx
Leah 43yo, OH 46yo - unexplained recurrent pregnancy loss
TTC since 2017
June 2018 MMC 10weeks
Aug 2018 CP 4+6
Oct 2018 MC 6+1
March 2019 CP 4+5
June 2019 MMC 8+4
DE FET Nov 21 - BFP - MMC 7+3
1 frostie on ice
DE FET June 22 - final ❄️ - BFP - CP 4+1

Lou89
Posts: 690
Joined: Fri Mar 19, 2021 6:49 am

Re: Waiting to miscarry 6th loss

#4 Post by Lou89 » Mon Dec 27, 2021 10:32 pm

Leezo wrote:
Sun Dec 26, 2021 10:18 pm
Lou89 wrote:
Fri Dec 24, 2021 11:01 pm
Leezo our MMC lasted 6 weeks and even then if I hadn’t had surgery there was no sign of it happening naturally. I know everyone is different but wanted to share what happened to me if it made you feel any less anxious. I tried medical management and homeopathic remedies and nothing worked. My body continued to think it was pregnant. I ended up having surgery close to what would of been my 12 weeks 😔. I have been thinking of you lots. Please take care if yourself and I hope you get to find some joy over Christmas xx
Hey Lou thanks for replying - sorry I've been missing in action from the other board, I just thought my time on there was through until we get over this little while. Everything is still where it was and we're getting another confirmation scan on Tuesday - we know there's no point but it's protocol and we understand that. Visitors leave tomorrow which will be sad as they've been a great distraction but a slight relief as I would hate for something to happen whilst they were here. I also don't feel any grief yet which is freaking the OH out a lot. I went the pieces the last 5 times so I think he was just expecting me to be a mess. Maybe when we're on our own again I'll relax and it'll all hit me. Counseling booked for Wednesday and review booked for Thursday. I just wish they could do the D&C quicker - we really need to get this LO genetically tested to see whether it was aneuploid or there's something deeper wrong with me.
I hope you are well Lou? Your words have been so kind xx
Totally understand honey. I haven’t been on the other pages either, some of the comments have been making me anxious and having been through previous loss I needed to detach a bit. Due to my spotting and low progesterone they are scanning me on the 30th and the 4th to see what is happening. I can’t help but think something has gone wrong again.

In terms of protocol and having to go through that horrific scan twice for them to confirm what you already know, I am thinking of you. Same happened to us and it feels so insensitive especially if like me they sit you in a busy EPU with pregnant women!

I’m so sorry you have experienced so much loss Leezo. I was saying to my OH I’m so genuinely gutted for you. Felt like we could chat away so easily on the boards it was obvious how much you deserved your miracle so I was really rooting for you and it felt like you are rooting for me too.

So glad nothing happened whilst you had guests and I hope you got to laugh and forget for a little while. I think counselling is really good and it really helped me as I was blaming myself or assuming I was a horrible person in a past life because I just couldn’t understand why it was happening to us. Our therapist said, be angry and let your emotions out but know it’s nothing you did, life can just be shit sometimes! She was posh too so it sounded funny when she swore haha

Hope you get the D&C booked in soon, it made me feels worlds better having it all done after it had dragged on for weeks. Then you can process and plan your next move. Your resilience and strength have been amazing throughout and it’s a pleasure talking with you. Sending love xx

Lou89
Posts: 690
Joined: Fri Mar 19, 2021 6:49 am

Re: Waiting to miscarry 6th loss

#5 Post by Lou89 » Wed Dec 29, 2021 5:42 pm

How are you Leezo after your scan yesterday? Sending a virtual hug xx

Leezo
Posts: 276
Joined: Wed Apr 28, 2021 2:19 pm

Re: Waiting to miscarry 6th loss

#6 Post by Leezo » Fri Dec 31, 2021 12:23 am

Lou89 wrote:
Wed Dec 29, 2021 5:42 pm
How are you Leezo after your scan yesterday? Sending a virtual hug xx
Hey Lou sorry I've been a bit absent trying to get heads round things. Our confirmation scan was with the EPU that we've visited for all our losses so we're quite well known in there now. The nurse was just lovely - we explained the situation and she was so gentle and thorough and really took her time explaining things. In hindsight it was the polar opposite to our Care scan unfortunately. Our care scanner didn't show us the scan, just said it was a non viable pregnancy with only a gestational sac measuring less than 5 weeks with no foetal pole. A doctor came in, confirmed this then left and I was told to contact my local EPU to discuss options. At my scan in the EPU everything was explained, we were shown the scan were you can very clearly see a little embryo measuring just over 6 weeks but unfortunately as suspected no heartbeat. As it was an FET the dates can't be wrong so we know that there's definitely no hope but it did confuse matters. I've now to go in on the 4th for a further scan before they will conduct a D&C. We desperately want this pregnancy genetically tested so I'm just hoping and praying I don't lose it naturally before then. It did make me a little angry and disappointed with Care but it was in a satellite clinic not our main treatment clinic of which I have absolutely no complaints - they have been fantastic. Not that it changes things, I totally understand that, but it killed a bit of my confidence with them. Unfortunately we have no choice but to go back during further treatment because of where we live.
The good news is that we got our review this morning which was incredibly quick. Our consultant was extremely empathetic. He suggested various other tests that we could do but we've spent so much already and we don't have infinite finances. It's so depressing that it all comes down to money but that is the reality of it. He was fabulous though and agreed that we can throw everything at the next FET without aggressive testing first. We also spoke about experimental treatment that I have researched. I am too old to be included in the trial but he said the drugs would do absolutely no harm so I am hoping that my recurrent miscarriage specialist can prescribe as it's not part of Cares protocol. It's now all a waiting game and hopefully we can go for our next FET March/April time fingers crossed.
How are you getting on? How's the anxiety? Sometimes the boards are full of positivity and they make you feel really good and sometimes they can send you into a bit of a spiral. Just look after yourself and your own mental health Lou xx Big virtual hugs right back at you xx
Leah 43yo, OH 46yo - unexplained recurrent pregnancy loss
TTC since 2017
June 2018 MMC 10weeks
Aug 2018 CP 4+6
Oct 2018 MC 6+1
March 2019 CP 4+5
June 2019 MMC 8+4
DE FET Nov 21 - BFP - MMC 7+3
1 frostie on ice
DE FET June 22 - final ❄️ - BFP - CP 4+1

Lou89
Posts: 690
Joined: Fri Mar 19, 2021 6:49 am

Re: Waiting to miscarry 6th loss

#7 Post by Lou89 » Fri Dec 31, 2021 2:53 am

Leezo wrote:
Fri Dec 31, 2021 12:23 am
Lou89 wrote:
Wed Dec 29, 2021 5:42 pm
How are you Leezo after your scan yesterday? Sending a virtual hug xx
Hey Lou sorry I've been a bit absent trying to get heads round things. Our confirmation scan was with the EPU that we've visited for all our losses so we're quite well known in there now. The nurse was just lovely - we explained the situation and she was so gentle and thorough and really took her time explaining things. In hindsight it was the polar opposite to our Care scan unfortunately. Our care scanner didn't show us the scan, just said it was a non viable pregnancy with only a gestational sac measuring less than 5 weeks with no foetal pole. A doctor came in, confirmed this then left and I was told to contact my local EPU to discuss options. At my scan in the EPU everything was explained, we were shown the scan were you can very clearly see a little embryo measuring just over 6 weeks but unfortunately as suspected no heartbeat. As it was an FET the dates can't be wrong so we know that there's definitely no hope but it did confuse matters. I've now to go in on the 4th for a further scan before they will conduct a D&C. We desperately want this pregnancy genetically tested so I'm just hoping and praying I don't lose it naturally before then. It did make me a little angry and disappointed with Care but it was in a satellite clinic not our main treatment clinic of which I have absolutely no complaints - they have been fantastic. Not that it changes things, I totally understand that, but it killed a bit of my confidence with them. Unfortunately we have no choice but to go back during further treatment because of where we live.
The good news is that we got our review this morning which was incredibly quick. Our consultant was extremely empathetic. He suggested various other tests that we could do but we've spent so much already and we don't have infinite finances. It's so depressing that it all comes down to money but that is the reality of it. He was fabulous though and agreed that we can throw everything at the next FET without aggressive testing first. We also spoke about experimental treatment that I have researched. I am too old to be included in the trial but he said the drugs would do absolutely no harm so I am hoping that my recurrent miscarriage specialist can prescribe as it's not part of Cares protocol. It's now all a waiting game and hopefully we can go for our next FET March/April time fingers crossed.
How are you getting on? How's the anxiety? Sometimes the boards are full of positivity and they make you feel really good and sometimes they can send you into a bit of a spiral. Just look after yourself and your own mental health Lou xx Big virtual hugs right back at you xx
Hi Leezo, please don’t apologise for not being around, I completely understand. I came off of the boards completely so I understand if you need to do the same. I will always check and reply if you want a chat.

I’m so sorry that you had that experience with Care. I can’t imagine how that felt. Care are our satellite clinic but our main one is Zita West and they put us in a room after our loss and gave us time to process as best as we could. It is only natural that you have lost some confidence and I would feed that back to Care because it may prevent it happening to someone else.

I’m really pleased your EPU are so wonderful, when we were waiting for a scan after failed medical management they forgot about us and we waited 2.5 hours and during our first confirmation scan they had no one to talk to us to tell us our options so handed us a couple of leaflets so our experience at ours was very different. It’s good that you feel understood and looked after, I think that’s so important.

I haven’t done anywhere near as much research as you but I know a lady on the boards started taking clexane and managed to have her miracles (twins) also my clinic mentioned it when I started spotting so not sure if that could be an option for you? As for infinite finances I know exactly what you mean, we are now self funded and we have borrowed the money from my husbands parents. They have been so generous and we couldn’t have done it without them! I see people at our clinic (it’s in one of the posh bits of London) and you just know that money isn’t even a factor.

My anxiety is still all over the place, you are right sometimes these boards heighten it and are just like petrol on my brain fire! My clinic said get off them but like you say I sometimes find real comfort in talking with others who understand through shared experiences. I need to learn to not let others comments get to me or play on my mind. I just sometimes can’t understand how unaware people are when it comes to the impact of their words. I’ll be on here no doubt so if you want to reply please do so but I understand if you have had enough for now. Concentrate on you and your OH and I hope everything works out in March/April time. I will be thinking of you and sending love and positive vibes your way xx

Lou89
Posts: 690
Joined: Fri Mar 19, 2021 6:49 am

Re: Waiting to miscarry 6th loss

#8 Post by Lou89 » Wed May 04, 2022 7:52 am

Lou89 wrote:
Fri Dec 31, 2021 2:53 am
Leezo wrote:
Fri Dec 31, 2021 12:23 am
Lou89 wrote:
Wed Dec 29, 2021 5:42 pm
How are you Leezo after your scan yesterday? Sending a virtual hug xx
Hey Lou sorry I've been a bit absent trying to get heads round things. Our confirmation scan was with the EPU that we've visited for all our losses so we're quite well known in there now. The nurse was just lovely - we explained the situation and she was so gentle and thorough and really took her time explaining things. In hindsight it was the polar opposite to our Care scan unfortunately. Our care scanner didn't show us the scan, just said it was a non viable pregnancy with only a gestational sac measuring less than 5 weeks with no foetal pole. A doctor came in, confirmed this then left and I was told to contact my local EPU to discuss options. At my scan in the EPU everything was explained, we were shown the scan were you can very clearly see a little embryo measuring just over 6 weeks but unfortunately as suspected no heartbeat. As it was an FET the dates can't be wrong so we know that there's definitely no hope but it did confuse matters. I've now to go in on the 4th for a further scan before they will conduct a D&C. We desperately want this pregnancy genetically tested so I'm just hoping and praying I don't lose it naturally before then. It did make me a little angry and disappointed with Care but it was in a satellite clinic not our main treatment clinic of which I have absolutely no complaints - they have been fantastic. Not that it changes things, I totally understand that, but it killed a bit of my confidence with them. Unfortunately we have no choice but to go back during further treatment because of where we live.
The good news is that we got our review this morning which was incredibly quick. Our consultant was extremely empathetic. He suggested various other tests that we could do but we've spent so much already and we don't have infinite finances. It's so depressing that it all comes down to money but that is the reality of it. He was fabulous though and agreed that we can throw everything at the next FET without aggressive testing first. We also spoke about experimental treatment that I have researched. I am too old to be included in the trial but he said the drugs would do absolutely no harm so I am hoping that my recurrent miscarriage specialist can prescribe as it's not part of Cares protocol. It's now all a waiting game and hopefully we can go for our next FET March/April time fingers crossed.
How are you getting on? How's the anxiety? Sometimes the boards are full of positivity and they make you feel really good and sometimes they can send you into a bit of a spiral. Just look after yourself and your own mental health Lou xx Big virtual hugs right back at you xx
Hi Leezo, please don’t apologise for not being around, I completely understand. I came off of the boards completely so I understand if you need to do the same. I will always check and reply if you want a chat.

I’m so sorry that you had that experience with Care. I can’t imagine how that felt. Care are our satellite clinic but our main one is Zita West and they put us in a room after our loss and gave us time to process as best as we could. It is only natural that you have lost some confidence and I would feed that back to Care because it may prevent it happening to someone else.

I’m really pleased your EPU are so wonderful, when we were waiting for a scan after failed medical management they forgot about us and we waited 2.5 hours and during our first confirmation scan they had no one to talk to us to tell us our options so handed us a couple of leaflets so our experience at ours was very different. It’s good that you feel understood and looked after, I think that’s so important.

I haven’t done anywhere near as much research as you but I know a lady on the boards started taking clexane and managed to have her miracles (twins) also my clinic mentioned it when I started spotting so not sure if that could be an option for you? As for infinite finances I know exactly what you mean, we are now self funded and we have borrowed the money from my husbands parents. They have been so generous and we couldn’t have done it without them! I see people at our clinic (it’s in one of the posh bits of London) and you just know that money isn’t even a factor.

My anxiety is still all over the place, you are right sometimes these boards heighten it and are just like petrol on my brain fire! My clinic said get off them but like you say I sometimes find real comfort in talking with others who understand through shared experiences. I need to learn to not let others comments get to me or play on my mind. I just sometimes can’t understand how unaware people are when it comes to the impact of their words. I’ll be on here no doubt so if you want to reply please do so but I understand if you have had enough for now. Concentrate on you and your OH and I hope everything works out in March/April time. I will be thinking of you and sending love and positive vibes your way xx

Leezo, I just wanted to say hi again and send you lots of well wishes and positivity if you’re cycling again soon xx

Leezo
Posts: 276
Joined: Wed Apr 28, 2021 2:19 pm

Re: Waiting to miscarry 6th loss

#9 Post by Leezo » Tue May 10, 2022 10:27 pm

Hey Lou long time no speak!
How have you been? I'm a bit behind on things so not really sure where you are with the 'journey' at the minute but I hope all is well?
We are cycling this month!!! Just waiting on AF to rear it's ugly head and never been so impatient :lol: My cycle has been a bit hit or miss since the D&C so just hoping it plays ball and we're set for an FET early June 🤞 Have been thinking about you lately and hopefully things are good for you xx
Leah 43yo, OH 46yo - unexplained recurrent pregnancy loss
TTC since 2017
June 2018 MMC 10weeks
Aug 2018 CP 4+6
Oct 2018 MC 6+1
March 2019 CP 4+5
June 2019 MMC 8+4
DE FET Nov 21 - BFP - MMC 7+3
1 frostie on ice
DE FET June 22 - final ❄️ - BFP - CP 4+1

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