Anyone looked into Surrogacy?

Life after IVF? What other options are available?

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katiebyrne
Posts: 345
Joined: Mon Feb 27, 2012 11:25 am

Anyone looked into Surrogacy?

Hi all

Hope you are all well? :-)

I have just (13 weeks ago) had twins via IVF treatment (I don't ovulate regularly) and am now looking into becoming a host surrogate for a couple longing for their own baby.

I have a few questions for anyone that can help, maybe people that have looked into getting a surrogate themselves?

1. Would it matter that I needed IVF treatment myself in order to have a child (even though it wasn't because I had any problems carrying a pregnancy)?

2. Does it have to be for someone very local to me?

3. Do all intended parents require contact after the birth? I assumed most would want to cut ties and go on as if they had had the child themselves? I am flexible either way,

Thanks so much!

Kate xxx
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Jasper1
Posts: 1546
Joined: Sat May 05, 2012 2:47 pm
Location: Northamptonshire

Hi katie I'm not looking into surrogacy and no nothing about it but I just wanted to say hi as I remember you cycling and congrats on your twins. But mainly wow what an amazingly generous lady you are to offer to help a couple in that way! Good luck to you and I hope it's a magical experience for you. Xx
Ivf one march 2013 BFN
Ivf two July 2013 BFN
Ivf three Sept 2014 all destroyed
Ivf four Oct 2015 BFP...CP
Ivf five April 2016 BFN
Ivf six Aug 2016 off to Czech! BFN
Ivf seven Dec 2016 BFP!!! Miracles happen!
Ivf eight and nine BFN
RubyK
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Mar 02, 2014 2:31 pm

Hi Katie,
First of all, congratulations on the birth of your twins.
It is so wonderful and amazing of you to consider being a surrogate, despite your own struggles to get your little miracles. You are one in a million!
I am new to this forum, and have just stumbled on your post. In answer to your questions –
1) To become a host surrogate, it does not matter if you’ve had to have IVF treatments yourself to become pregnant, the most important thing is that you are able to healthily and successfully carry the potential surrogate baby/ies to term.
2) No, the intended parents does not have to live close to you, but it does help logistically for them to go through the IVF treatments for themselves and for you, if all of you can easily get to the same IVF clinic. Also, later on, for the intended parents' visits to your antenatal scans and midwife’s/doctor’s appointments (if they wish to attend), and the hospital visits for the birth and after the birth.
3) This last question is really up to the individual intended parents and the surrogates. Some intended parents want to keep in touch (similarly, for the surrogates) and some don’t. This is one of the most important things to establish between the intended parents and the surrogate right from the start, and all parties have to be comfortable and happy with whatever arrangement and the amount of contact they want in the future (after the baby is born).
There are two different surrogacy organisations which help to bring intended parents and surrogates together ‘safely’ (through their vetting process) and help to support them through the surrogacy process :
a) SurrogacyUK which encourages ‘friendship through surrogacy’ via organised functions for people to meet and forum chats for people to get to know each other –
http://www.surrogacyuk.org/
b) COTS which tends to match intended parents with surrogates through a paper matching process, and the surrogates then select their potential intended parents - http://www.surrogacy.org.uk/
Both the organisations are non-profit making organisations, and their websites have lots of useful information about surrogacy. They both have a very useful bulletin board which you can post any questions you may have about surrogacy.
I want to wish you all the best for the next journey you maybe embarking on. It will be the most amazing gift of life anyone can help to give to a childless couple.
RubyK
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