How Long Do You Have To Wait???

[Hutchy]

Hi Girls

We have come to the end of our IVF journey and deep down I think I always knew adoption would be the route that we would take.

My question is, is there a minimum amount of time that you have to wait before you can start the process? Our last cycle ended in July 10 and I have a review with my Consultant at the end of September (NHS funded). I know some LA's like you to wait 6 months, is this the case for everyone? we don't know yet if we will start the process before or after christmas.

Thank you in advance for your replies.

Hutchy xx

[KatieH]

Hi Hutchy,

I dont post that often and Ive never posted in a conversation with you in the past but I felt I had to say something as I may not get another chance

I firstly just wanted to say I am really sorry if your ivf journey has had to come to an end, I have willed you a long on a couple of occasions since I joined the boards. You deserve to be a mother for all the years TTC.

The reason I wanted to write this post is because I wondered if there was something unexplained still regarding your infertility. I can see that you had a ruptured tube in 2005 and wondered what happened to the other tube? Could there be a blockage or a Hydrosalpinx? It seems that you are able to get pregnant but then miscarry. I have had both my tubes 'clipped' becuase I was told that if I didnt then there was a chance that fluid from my blocked (partly blocked) tube may leak and cause a miscarage or BFN.

Sorry if I am barking up the wrong tree, but just didnt want to leave a stone uncovered if you know what I mean. x

[Hutchy]

Hi katie

Thank you so much for your reply and I also wanted to say thanks for willing me along during my journey, it really means a lot....

My remaining tube is completely blocked and the blockage is at the wrong end for it to be operated on. I really don't think there is any chance of conceiving naturally as this only happend once in 10 years and that was the same month that I had a Hy-Cosy.... My review may discuss other options but the only option that I can get pregnant is through IVF and we have been so lucky to have had all our treatment on the NHS and we are not in a position to pay....

I had the level 1 tests before our cycle which resulted in Archie and all cam back ok.. They are not sure what caused my waters to break so early, it was possibly due to an infection.

Don't apologise for barking up the wrong tree, I am open to any suggestions and thank you again..

Hutchy xx

[KatieH]

Hi Hutchy,

Thanks for understandning my need to post

Im sorry that your other tube is blocked and that you are unable to concieve naturally.
What I was trying to say to you is that the blocked fallopian tube maybe the problem and 'clipping' is not a big operation and the fact that if it is clipped then this will stop any toxic fluid leaking into your uterus during pregancy. Have you heard of Hydrosalpinx? This could have been the 'infection' that your waters broke.

Sorry if I have repeated myself x

[Hutchy]

Hi Katie

I have heard of Hydrosalpinx, but only from this BB so have some understanding of it. My consultant has never advised me if I have this, I don't know how they test for it as I have had many tests when I was referred 5 years ago. If my other tube was clipped I would still need IVF and we can't afford it, I can't egg share cause of my age (37).

Don't apologise for repeating yourself, it's good to have some answers.

Hutchy xx

[KatieH]

Hi Hutchy,

I had a lap and dye test to confirm my tubes were blocked and they advised on clipping immediately as Hydro goes hand in hand most times with blocked tubes.
I hope your consultant may shed some light on it at your review perhaps. Its such a shame that you cant have another free cycle on the nhs. Maybe you could voice concern about the Hydro possibilty and they may let you have another cycle for free as I really think you should have been given clipping as an option earlier on. Im at CARE sheffield by the way.

Anyway Im going to sign out now. Good luck with whatever you decide hun, I hope someone can answer your original question on this thread before I hijacked it! Sorry

Take care x

[DebbieM]

Hutchy

Sorry to hear of your history above. But you've come to the right place to get that much wanted family.

The best thing to do is ring round some agencies, there isn't a set time, but some do say 6 months. Really they want you to say that you have finished your fertility treatment and are capable of moving on.

I think we waited 3 months before we approached the first agency.

I believe that adopters are in short supply at the moment so you should be in a good position. We have just been approved for our second child, which only took 7 months this time and we waited 3 days to then hear about a baby which we are hoping to progress with.

Good luck.

Debs x

[Woo]

Hi Hutchy - i remember you from previous cycle buddies - i am so sorry to hear about your little one. I started adoption after three failed icsi attempts and i had my last cycle in February 2008 and started my adoption journey 6 months after that. However, i had to stop because i had to have a hysterectomy and they would not consider me for adoption until 6 months after that operation because of all sorts of things. Time to recover, reflect on things, etc etc. I am based on Scotland, however, so it may well be different in different areas of the country. Take care. Wendyx

[Office Angel]

Hello all

Wow Debbie - you waited 3 days after approval!!! That's fantastic! Good luck with the little baby!

Hutchy - sorry to hijack that! As you know our LA like 6 months but as Debbie said I think most of all they like to know that you have 'moved on'.

Lots of love Kate

[Hutchy]

KatieH - Thanks for all your information, I will definately ask the question when I go for my review and ask if everything could have been prevented if my tube was clipped..

Debs - I read your post regarding you waiting for a baby, that is fantastic news and thank you for your information... We are going away next week and have my review at the end of September so we will make our final decision after that, although in my head the decision has been made.

Woo - Hope you have recovered now from your hysterectomy and you get your forever family soon. Thank you for posting.

Kate - my MM buddy, thank you for hijacking and feel free to do it anytime lol....

Thanks again girls for all your replies...
Hutchy xx

[Woo]

Hutchy - yeah i have recovered from hysterectomy just dealing with hot flushes, night sweats, weight gain etc etc lol - however, i am not grumbling better than i was before op!!. Glad to hear you are going away for a while and i hope you have a great time. Wendyx

[wobally]

Hi Hutchy
Our local authority and the voluntary agency we approached wouldn't let us start the official approval process (ie have an initial interview) until 6 months after my final cycle ended in miscarriage.
However, they did both have a long chat with me over the phone, sent us lots of information and suggested some books to read, and we also went to an 'information evening' for prospective adopters at the VA - so although we couldn't officially start the process I did feel like we were actively doing something. And it gave us a chance to put together a list of questions and concerns before we had our initial interviews - and it was actually quite nice to have a break from all the ttc traumas and do some 'normal' stuff.
Love W xx

[Hutchy]

Hi Wobally

Thanks for your information, I have a review with my consultant in 2 weeks so it will be nearly 2 months from my last tx which ended in a BFN, so we will decide where to go from there...

Hutchy xx

[Elizabeth hope]

Hi Hutchy

You are a brave brave lady and I know one day you will hold your child in your arms just like I have done and say to them 'You made it home to me, well done little one'. I am currently telling little D that he grew in Mummy's heart and not her tummy as a prelude to the conversations we will have later on.

You are on your own journey and it is unique, don't give up on your dreams. I wish could bottle the feeling of being an adopted Mummy and let you try it but I can't. However your baby makes it home you will love it just like you love Archie.

Time is just a number but I reckon January sounds like a good time to start the ball rolling...Jan 6th has been a lucky day for us!

Elizabeth
xxx

[Hutchy]

Elizabeth

What a lovely post, you have now got me in tears (doesn't take much though!!)...

How fantastic would it be to bottle the feeling of being an adopted mummy, Dragon's Den would snapt it up!!! What a nice thing to say to your DS about being grown in your heart... I think I have a lot to learn about the adoption process, but I know there are lots of fantastic ladies on here offering invaluable support..

It is my consultant appt tomorrow so I thinkk that will be closure on my TTC journey and will be hard to say goodbye as it is all I have known for the last 10 years...

I hope I get to be as lucky and happy as lots of ladies on here one day...

Hutchy xx

[Nefe]

Hi Hutchy

Firstly I'm so sorry about your journey so far. I hope the appointment well ok yesterday,
When we harbour failed cycle we had to wait 6 months.
We have an 18 month old little girl and I honestly couldn't love her anymore than i do now as she grew in my heart.

The girls on here are fab, good luck with the next part of your journey.

Love Sam xx

[vonny]

Hutchy,

I hope your appointment was not too difficult for you.

You know honey, life can seem so cruel at times and it is so hard to see through the tears that the sun still shines and rainbows still appear but they do, believe me.

Look on it like this; we have to get through these difficult times to reach the good. We don't know how long the journey will be though, this is the difficult bit but, if you have closed the door on one part, then by doing so, you are a step nearer to achieving your dream. It will come eventually.

(((HUGS)))

Vonny
xx

[City Chic]

Sorry to gate crash but Hutchy would you please email me when you get a minute.....

Thanks
City Chic x

[Hutchy]

Hi City Chic

I have just messaged you....

Hutchy xx

[Hutchy]

Hi Vonny & Nefe

Thank you for your posts....
I don't feel like my journey has ended yet... my consultant is waiting to see if he can do a laporoscopy to make an opening in my tube, he needs to view my x-ray that I had done in February before he can decide if he can do it or not, it can only be done if there is minimal damage, so still in limbo and no guarantees either way... don't want to cling on to any hopes too hard....

Vonny - good luck with your matching panel...

Nefe - You are so lucky to have adopted a baby so young, how long did you wait from your matchin panel to be matched to her??

Hutchy xx