For those that don't know when you adopt you go through a period of introductions and this is the period that the care of the child moves from foster carer to the the adoptive parents. It is stressfull for everyone but not really the baby because at this stage a younger child just sees you as another person. It is when they move home that they start to grieve for what they have lost.
When I met D I just didn't 'Know' he was my child and I put all these expectations in the way. Lots of things contributed to a very difficult time but it was enough to make me think I could never ever do this again. I never regretted adopting but I knew ( or so I thought) that I wouldn't have the courage to do it again.
In January D developed an imaginary sister and it got us thinking. We did the equivalent of 'Having a dabble' and before we knew it we were in the adoption journey again. We didn't opt for a girl we just decided to wait and see what we would be blessed with. We were linked with a little girl in July and matched in September.
I have worried that I wouldn't connect again this time and sort of decided that it may just be my natural commitment issue raising its head.
Today we met our daughter and as I touched her for the first time every single person in that room seem to disappear (there were 7 other people there). I put her on my lap and as I felt her little tummy in my hand and I felt it go up and down as she breathed I felt like the luckiest woman in the whole world. As I looked up 3 social workers were close to tears and one of them spoke to me this afternoon and said I had made her year.
We now have to wait until Monday to see her again but I can wait because I have waited so long already. When I had IVF last time a lady I trust very very much said she had a vision of two children, a boy leading a little girl. Another lady 3 years ago said that D was the first child to prepare me and the second would be a girl. Its weird isn't it but at some point on this horrific journey of IVF you have to decide when to stop fighting the hurt and be guided to where it takes you. Oh yes another lady said one day 'DOn't give up your dream'. I had given up you know snd she knew it!
Well for whatever reason and whenever the thing clicked in my head and my heart to reignite the dream, I think that bringing home little D's baby sister next week is going to be worth every tear I shed in the wait to be a Mummy.
I will update next week.
She is perfect...just like her big brother!!
Elizabeth
xxx
Second time around
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Elizabeth hope
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Elizabeth, you are so eloquent. What a beautiful post. I'm so thrilled for you! What a lucky little girl she is...How exciting to think about bringing her home next week!
HUGE congratulations to you and your family.
Love,
Edenrose xxx
HUGE congratulations to you and your family.
Love,
Edenrose xxx
Me: 47 DH: 49. Married 7yrs.
Gave up on OE in 2010 after losing first babe and learning that I have a Robertsonian translocation.
09/12: DE IVF: BFN
11/12: DE FET: Biochem.
11/13 2nd DE cycle: BFP!!
08/14: Baby boy!!!
Gave up on OE in 2010 after losing first babe and learning that I have a Robertsonian translocation.
09/12: DE IVF: BFN
11/12: DE FET: Biochem.
11/13 2nd DE cycle: BFP!!
08/14: Baby boy!!!
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Reds(1703)
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Hope Monday is even more magical than yesterday.
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nicknacknoo
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Elizabeth hope
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Well girlies, what on earth does a girl say to such beautiful messages from such truly Lovely ladies????
THANK YOU.
It always means soooo much more coming from ladies who have travelled the rocky road to motherhood.
Well all well planned moments, D is ill in bed and his Father has been running a half marathon and I feel exhausted and torn between wanting her home and wanting a few nights undisturbed sleep....hahahahaha isn't mother nature hilarious??!!
Soo introductions start properly tomorrow and conclude on coming home day on Friday morning however she will come home for a little while on Wed? and Def Thurs.
I've made up the cot bed now which will be her little nest until she follows her Big brother into a big bed. We have the big stuff sorted but very little of the finishing bits but I am working on the assumption that I can do those next weekend as we wont be going far.
I'm off for a bath while I can.......
I will update this week as it all happens and then I will get over to normal threads.
It is sooo nice to share it this time. As Debbiem will remember only too well......I was terrified last time!!
Amanda.......ooooh what a lovely thought...yes I will keep you all very close this week. Feel free to do the ironing while your all here and my tea is white, no sugars.
Elizabeth
xxx
THANK YOU.
It always means soooo much more coming from ladies who have travelled the rocky road to motherhood.
Well all well planned moments, D is ill in bed and his Father has been running a half marathon and I feel exhausted and torn between wanting her home and wanting a few nights undisturbed sleep....hahahahaha isn't mother nature hilarious??!!
Soo introductions start properly tomorrow and conclude on coming home day on Friday morning however she will come home for a little while on Wed? and Def Thurs.
I've made up the cot bed now which will be her little nest until she follows her Big brother into a big bed. We have the big stuff sorted but very little of the finishing bits but I am working on the assumption that I can do those next weekend as we wont be going far.
I'm off for a bath while I can.......
I will update this week as it all happens and then I will get over to normal threads.
It is sooo nice to share it this time. As Debbiem will remember only too well......I was terrified last time!!
Amanda.......ooooh what a lovely thought...yes I will keep you all very close this week. Feel free to do the ironing while your all here and my tea is white, no sugars.
Elizabeth
xxx
Oooo, it's almost Monday!
What a fab post Elizabeth! How is D now? P&M poorly too (chickenpox).
Have so much fun this week and nerves and everything, it all adds to the excitement!
I'm sure Mel, Gh, Debbie will all have good advice about bringing home number 2, what would I know eh? Those fab ladies will allay any fears, while I know you're a better mummy for worrying about such things in the first place xxx
What a fab post Elizabeth! How is D now? P&M poorly too (chickenpox).
Have so much fun this week and nerves and everything, it all adds to the excitement!
I'm sure Mel, Gh, Debbie will all have good advice about bringing home number 2, what would I know eh? Those fab ladies will allay any fears, while I know you're a better mummy for worrying about such things in the first place xxx
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Elizabeth hope
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nicknacknoo
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Elizabeth hope
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Well we are officially in love with our daughter....she has been a bit of a diva at times today and we still love her.
I gave her my oandora bracelet to play with at one point to keep her busy while she was in her pushchair and then I heard DH laugh so I looked at her and there she was...little madam...waving her rusk around....with my bloody bracelet on her wrist!! She kept taking it off admiring the charms and then putting it back on and carrying on eating like it belonged on her wrist!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tonight I gave her tea, got her ready for bed and put her down for the night....then had to leave her. Ouch.....
Tomorrow I need to get up and do a two hour round trip to be there before she wakes up and then I get to bring her home for the day...OMG.... 
The hardest part of intros is over really, the next two days is all picking up and dropping off. Just got the morning bit with the FC to deal with.
I did manage to sleep a whole night last night so not as desperately tired as I have been.
Mind you I'm ready for bed now though.
Elizabeth
xxx
I gave her my oandora bracelet to play with at one point to keep her busy while she was in her pushchair and then I heard DH laugh so I looked at her and there she was...little madam...waving her rusk around....with my bloody bracelet on her wrist!! She kept taking it off admiring the charms and then putting it back on and carrying on eating like it belonged on her wrist!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tonight I gave her tea, got her ready for bed and put her down for the night....then had to leave her. Ouch.....
Tomorrow I need to get up and do a two hour round trip to be there before she wakes up and then I get to bring her home for the day...OMG.... The hardest part of intros is over really, the next two days is all picking up and dropping off. Just got the morning bit with the FC to deal with.
I did manage to sleep a whole night last night so not as desperately tired as I have been.
Mind you I'm ready for bed now though.
Elizabeth
xxx
Aw Elizabeth, sounds like she's going to have good taste your daughter! Hope your DH is bracing himself for expensive teenage years! Lol.
So pleased that this time around is seemingly easier. I guess you kind of know what to expect, which has got to make things better.
I bet tomorrow can't come soon enough - it will be worth the early morning
Wendy x
So pleased that this time around is seemingly easier. I guess you kind of know what to expect, which has got to make things better.
I bet tomorrow can't come soon enough - it will be worth the early morning
Wendy x