Just starting our adoption journey

Life after IVF? What other options are available?

Moderator: Administrator

LottieH
Posts: 788
Joined: Mon Mar 23, 2009 9:37 pm

Oh in that case get yourselves onto Adoption Link. Your SW should have told you about it! It's a free service to search, or £19 one off payment to enquire yourself. You need to list your social workers contact details as they will check with them before they approve you to go on the site. You basically have to do a mini family report, but this is a new national service and as the national register has been down for weeks this hopefully should speed things up. Our LA is in a regional consortium and all we have to do was sign that it was ok for our LA to share our details, strange that you'd have to do another profile as it should all be on your family form surely?
I assume your agency will be registered with Adoption Link, ring your SW and ask if they aren't - that will give them a rocket up the bum! I find it takes the pressure of family finding off our SW because she sent us a profile the other day and we were immediately able to tell her we'd already seen the child and it wasn't for us. Anyway, I've just seen the time and I have a pile of dishes to do before Our Zoo comes on.
Take care,
Lx
Ivf2013
Posts: 817
Joined: Sun Apr 21, 2013 10:33 am

Hi,

I've been on here for IVF but we've just got through adoption panel last month!! Have you ladies been matched now? We've been told no babies at the mo and lots of adopters coming through due to tighter timescales to getting people approved quicker.

It's been an eventful year but we are no on the real wait!!
Care Notts. 1 funded ivf, no frosties, Bfp To bfn.
L.O arrived via adoption! Amazing, amazing!
Adoption number 2 began- decided to stop.
one&only shock bfp, ectopic scare, Laparoscopy and D&C at 6 weeks. Natural preg, baby born 2017!
LottieH
Posts: 788
Joined: Mon Mar 23, 2009 9:37 pm

Hi ivf2013
Congratulations on getting through panel! You must feel so relieved, I know we did. My DH and I have yet to be matched, in the grand scheme of things it's only been 4 months since approval so not long and we are currently looking into foster to adopt. I think last time I looked on Adoption Link there were 1700+ approved adopters and 460 children registered if that gives you some idea. Depending on how well you get on with your SW, ask them about Adoption Link - I put the post above for Ladybird as I was annoyed her SW hadn't told her about it yet and it allows you to search, but they may prefer you to discuss going on it with them first so no toes are trodden on IYKWIM
Babies are tricky to find and most of them are placed in the local area but keep talking with your SW and go on any courses you can too.
I'm not on here every day but usually once a week or so. As time passes make sure you stay busy, take a holiday etc but don't put your life on hold anymore than it already is ... I am self-employed as an independent Phoenix Trader (greetings cards, giftwrap etc) so have been really putting lots of effort into that this year and a stay at home mum to our 2 1/2 year old, I don't usually dust but I go through phases where I dust everything in sight at the moment, I even found myself cleaning at 9pm last friday night as DH was working late!
Anyway, glad you want to share your wait on here :-)
Take care,
Lx
Ivf2013
Posts: 817
Joined: Sun Apr 21, 2013 10:33 am

Are you on twitter Lottie? I don't usually come on here but thought I would pop on!
Care Notts. 1 funded ivf, no frosties, Bfp To bfn.
L.O arrived via adoption! Amazing, amazing!
Adoption number 2 began- decided to stop.
one&only shock bfp, ectopic scare, Laparoscopy and D&C at 6 weeks. Natural preg, baby born 2017!
LottieH
Posts: 788
Joined: Mon Mar 23, 2009 9:37 pm

Hiya

I'm not on twitter ivf2013, it's just one of those things I can't get my head around.

Ladybird .... are you still reading??? How are you getting on? Would love to hear from you.

Our SW came today. We will be going to the first foster to adopt panel in our LA in November and finally our SW has told us that it looks unlikely that we will get our LO before Christmas, but they do move babies in early December as they haven't a clue what's going on so no ruling it out completely. I think we're both a bit deflated, but it's no good rushing it just to get a child we might as well wait for the right match.

Enjoy your weekend,
Lx
Ivf2013
Posts: 817
Joined: Sun Apr 21, 2013 10:33 am

Hi,

I directed my friend to adoption link and they are perusing a link. It's all going very well and they have been told that they will be moved in by Christmas all being well.

We were asked a few times about foster to adopt but have said no we would rather wait for a little one that needs adoption as more likely for the child to stay and not be returned to birth family at the family finding for adoption stage.
It's a relatively new scheme here so there isn't much data around it yet.
Good luck!
Care Notts. 1 funded ivf, no frosties, Bfp To bfn.
L.O arrived via adoption! Amazing, amazing!
Adoption number 2 began- decided to stop.
one&only shock bfp, ectopic scare, Laparoscopy and D&C at 6 weeks. Natural preg, baby born 2017!
LottieH
Posts: 788
Joined: Mon Mar 23, 2009 9:37 pm

Hi hun,
Good news for you friend. They must be so excited.

We felt like that at first and I think it depends on the LA tbh. We have a very good open relationship with our SW, she has come back to us a few times before we said yes (and it is our best chance of getting a younger baby, although with that come more unknowns) and she tells us all the developments surrounding it, and we have been sent a training power point on it. I think that as time goes on it will be clearer. For us, basically the child will have had a plan of adoption put in place but just not gone through the courts yet. But yes, the child would still be going off for contact visits. We were waiting on a profile for a child in the middle of September about to go through court, but court has now been delayed until November so that has highlighted to us how us looking after the child if there are delays would be beneficial. There was a trial done and out of the 57, 54 remained with the families. It is also something that the guardians/foster carers are pushing for as a child can be placed with the family quicker and younger and begin to form attachments at an earlier age which has to be in the best interests of the child. However, as we have said, if it doesn't work out we wouldn't do it again. All I can say is watch this space!
Sorry for the long reply, I'm off on another training course this week and am avoiding the homework. I'm supposed to do as it is for an adopted child but I have to use my birth child

Take care and stay dry - it's awful weather up here!
Lx
LottieH
Posts: 788
Joined: Mon Mar 23, 2009 9:37 pm

News update from us, well kind of :-)

We are now approved for Foster to adopt, seemed more of a formality than we thought it was as the SW's boss went on our behalf into panel as we had only been approved as adopters in May and informed them that they would now be considering us for Foster to adopt. Just waiting for the ratification.
It does mean that they could still place a child with us in early December as babies have no idea what's going on really but our dream of having our little one by Christmas is fast slipping away.

Will keep you all updated if and when there are developments,
Lx

Lx
Ivf2013
Posts: 817
Joined: Sun Apr 21, 2013 10:33 am

Hi,

Nice to hear from you and brilliant about f2a. Fingers crossed it will be soon!!

I have news. We are going to panel very soon... Matching panel!! As move on is literally days after the nursery is coming along very nicely.

Hope you hear soon.

X
Care Notts. 1 funded ivf, no frosties, Bfp To bfn.
L.O arrived via adoption! Amazing, amazing!
Adoption number 2 began- decided to stop.
one&only shock bfp, ectopic scare, Laparoscopy and D&C at 6 weeks. Natural preg, baby born 2017!
Ladybird
Posts: 178
Joined: Sun Apr 08, 2012 6:21 pm
Contact:

Hi Lottie & Ivf

Great news Lottie on foster to adopt, fingers crossed that you hear something really soon. I know it's disappointing that we won't have our little ones for Xmas, but we'll have lots more to come.

Wow Ivf that's great news & really exciting for you. What age is your child?

Nothing much to report from us, saw sw this week who has said there might be something soon but she can't say yet!
We're just enjoying our time with DD.

Ladybird xx
Both 35
1 miracle child age 6.
Ivf2013
Posts: 817
Joined: Sun Apr 21, 2013 10:33 am

Thank you.

Fingers crossed it's you receiving the call very soon x
Care Notts. 1 funded ivf, no frosties, Bfp To bfn.
L.O arrived via adoption! Amazing, amazing!
Adoption number 2 began- decided to stop.
one&only shock bfp, ectopic scare, Laparoscopy and D&C at 6 weeks. Natural preg, baby born 2017!
LottieH
Posts: 788
Joined: Mon Mar 23, 2009 9:37 pm

Wow Ivf, that's great news :-) Are they boy or girl and what age?
Hope all goes well for you.

Ladybird - lovely to hear from you:-) Did you get on Adoption Link? I hope your SW has good news for you soon. You are so right about having lots more Christmases to come. And the wait for the right child to join our family will be worth it. We too are just enjoying our DD too, she has grown up so much this year and is now a proper little girl.

Take care both of you,
Lx
Ivf2013
Posts: 817
Joined: Sun Apr 21, 2013 10:33 am

Hi,

Little boy will be 10 months by hopeful move in date!

Very exciting!
Care Notts. 1 funded ivf, no frosties, Bfp To bfn.
L.O arrived via adoption! Amazing, amazing!
Adoption number 2 began- decided to stop.
one&only shock bfp, ectopic scare, Laparoscopy and D&C at 6 weeks. Natural preg, baby born 2017!
LottieH
Posts: 788
Joined: Mon Mar 23, 2009 9:37 pm

Wow ivf, that's so lovely for you. I'm assuming you'll have him in time for Christmas?

We were contacted about a child to bring home from hospital at a month old, then 2 days later the LA withdrew him and that was after having our PAR etc because we were too far away! Very disappointed but life goes on.

Take care
Lx
Ivf2013
Posts: 817
Joined: Sun Apr 21, 2013 10:33 am

Oh no :( that's not good is it. So many uncertainties!

Yes xmas and 1st birthday 😊 cannot believe it!!!

Very close now to panel with meeting just a few days after!

Hope you hear soon
Care Notts. 1 funded ivf, no frosties, Bfp To bfn.
L.O arrived via adoption! Amazing, amazing!
Adoption number 2 began- decided to stop.
one&only shock bfp, ectopic scare, Laparoscopy and D&C at 6 weeks. Natural preg, baby born 2017!
LottieH
Posts: 788
Joined: Mon Mar 23, 2009 9:37 pm

I am so excited for you :-D

Best of luck with it all. If this is your first I highly recommend Dr Sears Baby Book either to buy or getting it through your library - mine bought it in for me! It has lots on attachment, and they also have an adopted child so have lots of experience.

Take care, Lx
Ivf2013
Posts: 817
Joined: Sun Apr 21, 2013 10:33 am

Hi,

Thank you!!

Good luck
Care Notts. 1 funded ivf, no frosties, Bfp To bfn.
L.O arrived via adoption! Amazing, amazing!
Adoption number 2 began- decided to stop.
one&only shock bfp, ectopic scare, Laparoscopy and D&C at 6 weeks. Natural preg, baby born 2017!
merlin71
Posts: 2736
Joined: Thu Dec 06, 2012 6:05 pm
Location: Bedford

Great news ivf2013 really pleased for you xx
.
Image
Jasper1
Posts: 1546
Joined: Sat May 05, 2012 2:47 pm
Location: Northamptonshire

Me too. Don't come on here much now but am really pleased for you xx
Ivf one march 2013 BFN
Ivf two July 2013 BFN
Ivf three Sept 2014 all destroyed
Ivf four Oct 2015 BFP...CP
Ivf five April 2016 BFN
Ivf six Aug 2016 off to Czech! BFN
Ivf seven Dec 2016 BFP!!! Miracles happen!
Ivf eight and nine BFN
Ivf2013
Posts: 817
Joined: Sun Apr 21, 2013 10:33 am

Hi ladies,

Oh thank you so much!

Take care
X
Care Notts. 1 funded ivf, no frosties, Bfp To bfn.
L.O arrived via adoption! Amazing, amazing!
Adoption number 2 began- decided to stop.
one&only shock bfp, ectopic scare, Laparoscopy and D&C at 6 weeks. Natural preg, baby born 2017!
Ivf2013
Posts: 817
Joined: Sun Apr 21, 2013 10:33 am

One last update from me.. We received a unanimous YES at panel! We meet our little one in a few days time!!!
Thank you ladies xx
Care Notts. 1 funded ivf, no frosties, Bfp To bfn.
L.O arrived via adoption! Amazing, amazing!
Adoption number 2 began- decided to stop.
one&only shock bfp, ectopic scare, Laparoscopy and D&C at 6 weeks. Natural preg, baby born 2017!
LottieH
Posts: 788
Joined: Mon Mar 23, 2009 9:37 pm

Well done and a huge massive congratulations :-)
If you ever need to share any parenting despairs then please feel free to ask :-) I'll even let you have my facebook ;-)
Best of luck with it all hun and enjoy it!
Lx
Ivf2013
Posts: 817
Joined: Sun Apr 21, 2013 10:33 am

Thank you! Unfortunately, I'm not on FB. I know where you are though. Thank you!!
Care Notts. 1 funded ivf, no frosties, Bfp To bfn.
L.O arrived via adoption! Amazing, amazing!
Adoption number 2 began- decided to stop.
one&only shock bfp, ectopic scare, Laparoscopy and D&C at 6 weeks. Natural preg, baby born 2017!
Ladybird
Posts: 178
Joined: Sun Apr 08, 2012 6:21 pm
Contact:

Happy Christmas Lottie & anyone else who reads this.

Ladybird xx
Both 35
1 miracle child age 6.
LottieH
Posts: 788
Joined: Mon Mar 23, 2009 9:37 pm

Happy New Year Ladybird.

Sorry for the delay in replying, our computer died taking all the passwords with it and I couldn't reset it myself so I have had to email the webmaster!

Did you have a good Christmas? DD was just a little too young to grasp it all but remembers what Santa bought her and was very helpful at taking the decorations down and packing away on Sunday.

We are hoping that we will complete our family this year and that our SW will be in touch soon as we know 2 SW's had our family form in December - she doesn't usually tell us but I think was feeling sorry for us after what happened with the little boy in November so wanted to give us something positive to think about. Have you had any news?

Ivf2013 - How was your first Christmas with your little one? Have they settled in ok and are you enjoying it? Motherhood is a real change so please feel free to share any feelings without a fear of being judged. Wishing you all the best :-)

Take care, Lx
Post Reply