Adoption... April 2019

[ChasingRainbows]

Hi all

Was just wondering if anyone else was thinking of embarking on the adoption journey?

Much love
Chasing xx

[Nikkid13]

Hi,

I’m considering it, my husband thinks it’s too soon to start on big decisions like this though x

[ChasingRainbows]

Hi Nikki

It's so hard isn't it, knowing when is the right time to think about it, being at the same place at the same time, knowing whether ultimately its the right thing to do. It's such mindfield!

How long have you been on your infertility journey for?

Much love
Chasing x

[Nikkid13]

This is our 6th year! We’ve battled for ivf and to be honest it’s left me with nothing but more pain and more heartache. I don’t think my body would cope with another round and to be honest, I don’t feel like I want to try again but I do desperately want to be a mummy.

How about you? X

[loulou123]

Would it be okay if I join the conversation?
My boyfriend and I have been trying for around 4 years, and we’re about to start our last cycle of IVF, but then we’re not sure what to do if (or when) that doesn’t work... we’ve been talking about maybe trying surrogacy but my heart says we should just skip straight to adoption as that will be the quickest way to have a family of our own... x

[Nikkid13]

Loulou do what feels right for you. We considered a surrogate but actually I don’t feel I have it in me to wait that long, plus the cost is really high and finding the right person is really hard x

[ChasingRainbows]

Aww Nikki, it sounds like you're being really sensible, sometimes it's as if you know enough is enough, 6 years is a really long time, I admire your strength. When was your last cycle? We've only been doing it for 3 years, we still have 2 embryos left and we were going to have a transfer following an ERA but that sort of went wrong and too be honest we haven't got the strength to continue it. We went to an adoption open evening in january, it was the first time me and the hubby smiled so much in ages, such a lovely feeling.

Loulou, you are more than welcome to join us. You sound like me, needing to know the next plan, just incase. I so hope this cycle works for you lovely so you don't have to pursue another avenue. We've always known surrogacy wouldn't be for us as we had to use an egg donor, but it certainly is an alternative and will get you a baby unlike adoption. I guess it comes down to what you decide you want more, a family or a baby if that makes sense? Either decision is tough though, I don't envy you having to make that decision bless you.

Take care
Chasing xx

[Nikkid13]

We’ve only had 1 cycle of ivf in feb this year and it has been the worst experience of my life. I’m in constant pain due to an ectopic that they can’t find and have been in and out of hospital with severe pain after having to have a methotrexate injection.

I know I could not go through this again but I want a family and actually if siblings were in need of a home, I’d happily adopt more than one.

We have to apparently wait 6 months to make sure I am definitely not going to do ivf again before we can be considered for adoption but at 34yrs old, if offered a full hysterectomy tomorrow, I would take it to stop all the pain. To me, a baby of my own would mean the world to me, but actually a family is what I really want and there are so many kids wanting a family too.

[ChasingRainbows]

Awww Nikki, that sounds horrendous, I'm so sorry you have been through so much and are now in constant pain from it, I really do hope you're coming through the other side now and the pain starts to ease or they at least find the problem. We were told exactly the same however they agreed to take us on sooner than the 6 months at the time I think it was just over 3 months but we then chose to delay returning the forms. They decided after meeting us that they felt we were ready, guess there is no harm contacting them sooner if you felt ready. We never appreciated that you can choose where you go, whether it be your council, another council or a voluntary agency, we were advised to go to a few open evenings and choose the one we felt was perhaps the best for us and what we wanted etc it's a new mindfield that's for sure!!

Chasing xx

[loulou123]

Hi Chasing and Nikki,

How are you guys getting on? I’d love to hear about your journeys and what’s happened since your last posts.

I’m just starting stim medication for my last round of IVF, but neither me nor my partner think it’s going to work so I’m already looking up dates to go to an adoption open evening later in the year xx

[ChasingRainbows]

Hi loulou

How are the sims going? I hope you and ur husband have managed to find a bit of hope bless u both. I really do hope that things are going well for you

So... We are just about to start stage 2 of our adoption journey and have a provisional panel date for the start of December!!! If everything goes to plan we will be approved this year and then hopefully next year we will be matched, so exciting!!

Best wishes, keep being strong beautiful lady
Chasing xx

[loulou123]

Hi Chasing,
Congratulations on reaching stage 2! If you don’t mind me asking, how long has it taken you to get this far? Do you have an idea of what kind of child(ren) you’d like to adopt (baby/toddler/siblings)? Or what children are in need in your area? It must be so hard to make those decisions! I think I’d want to go for siblings, I feel like I’d want a ready-made family, but I’ve no idea if my other half would feel the same.

We had our egg collection yesterday and I’ve just had my update call to say that 5 eggs have fertilised overnight so now it’s a case of seeing how well they develop over the next few days... hopefully we’ll have something to transfer at the end of the week xx

[ChasingRainbows]

Hi loulou

That's fantastic news... How do u feel now you're finally in the process? Any more optimistic? Will they phone u daily for your updates on your little beans?

Thanks lovely. It's taken us 3 1/2 months to get to being accepted onto stage 2, which is amazing considering stage 1 takes approximately 8 weeks! We have said we will consider siblings as long as they are under 3 years old and the youngest being under 18 months. However we are looking at getting dual approval at panel so we can be considered either for adoption or fostering for adoption. Our council are very risk adverse and so would only place a child on a fostering for adoption placement if there is good evidence that the child will eventually be placed for adoption if that makes sense.

I have everything crossed for you lovely

Much love
Chasing xx

[loulou123]

Hi Chasing,

Even though I don’t really know you I’m so happy for you, you’re so close to having your very own kids!

I’m not feeling optimistic at all, we’ve been here so many times already and every time I get my hopes up and then it’s heart breaking when the pregnancy test comes back negative. My other half actually said he’d be pleased we don’t get many embryos so we don’t drag the pain out any longer!

I’ll let you know how it turns out for me, and please keep me updated on any developments at your end. I might have to ask for some advice on how to get start on the adoption journey when the time comes xx

[ChasingRainbows]

Hey loulou

Thank you so much, its a crazy feeling. Obviously the wait after panel could be anything but we are trying not to think about that bit and we are just excited that regardless we know we will get a child eventually.

Oh lovely I'm so sorry, its so hard to keep finding the strength to do it all over again but I really do admire you managing to find jst the slightest ounce. How are you're little beans doing? Any news?

Which care are you at? Just remember though, just because you have embryos left it does not mean you have to use them. Sometimes you know when that chapter is coming to an end. We still have 2 embryos in freeze, we haven't made a decision about whether we will ever use them but they are there if we decide we want them but right now we know that that chapter has ended for us... It may be revisited but our situation will have to have changed considerably for us to be able to use them. But one thing is for sure, embarking on our new journey has made me happier than I have been in ages. The main thing that gets me down now is being unable to go shopping for kids stuff as we don't know what we will need but I've managed to convince the hubby to at least window shop with me!!!! Ha ha!! The little things eh!!

I know you're hurting right now, but try and find those positive pants jst for a few more days, perhaps this time is the time you will get your well deserved miracle lovely, I really hope you do

I'm here for you any time you need a chat hun.

Much love beautiful lady
Chasing xx

[loulou123]

Chasing.... I honestly can’t believe it but this cycle seems to worked! Well, we’ve made it as far as a BFP, fingers crossed we’ll make it all the way.

I’m in shock and may as well be walking on clouds, but just wanted to let you know xxx

[ChasingRainbows]

Awww loulou that is such amazing news, I'm so happy for you, I'm not surprised you feel like your in the clouds! Such exciting news congratulations... Credit to you and your husband for finding the strength to try again, you most certainly have your miracle! Eeek!!!!! You will have to keep me posted beautiful!!! Awww I'm so happy for you
Much love
Chasing xx

[loulou123]

Thanks Chasing, you’re so kind! My scan isn’t for 3 weeks so I’ve got everything crossed until then xx

[zacharysmum]

Hey Loulou how did u get on? I was on a thread with you last year when I was doing Ivf. Just seen u got your bfp finally. Hope its going well xxx

[loulou123]

Hi Zacharysmum,
I’m great thanks! We really couldn’t believe it when we got a BFP. The scan went well, baby is fine and has a strong heartbeat so we’re absolutely over the moon.
How are you these days? xxx

[zacharysmum]

Fantastice news! Amazing after the long ttc journey you have been on. U deserve good news.
All good here. Max is 8 months and just beautiful. Debating whether to try one last time but body clock is ticking and got to convince hubby to part with some money. Happy pregnancy xxx