February 2024

[AmericanGirl]

Guys, I started bleeding!

We had been planning to wait until after our trip to Geneva at the end of the next week to do the medication, but then this morning I got really anxious and upset about when I would bleed and how much it would hurt, so we decided to book in for the medication for this Thursday to get it over with. But then a couple hours ago I started bleeding, so we’re just hoping it continues and gets it all out. Sorry if that’s graphic or unpleasant!

[Stephlm]

Oh Rachel, I hope you’re OK and that it’s over quickly for you
Did you manage to pick up pads/ bed pads?
I’m with you on the anxiety piece and getting upset- I’m dreading it starting but at the same time I desperately want it to be over.
We’ve decided we’re going for the medical on Thursday. Even if I start beforehand, I think we’ll still take the tablets as we just want to make sure it’s all gone.
Xxx

[Cherrie87]

Ah Rachel, I really hope it continues for you and that you feel okay, I know it's heartbreaking and I'm sending you a huge hug!!

Please reach out if you need to we're all here for you!

Doing the medication when you're not bleeding is so hard, I had a bit of a melt down while doing them as I felt I was ending it myself. Hubby just kept telling me that it's okay and that it's already gone I just had to do this part to let it go.

Sending so much love to every single one of you

[AmericanGirl]

Thank you both, it’s nice to know I’m not alone in this. My husband is obviously here but it sometimes feels like we’re the only ones who have ever been through this.

I did pick up some extra large absorbent pads earlier today, didn’t get bed pads yet, but we have some old towels we don’t care about so I’ll sleep on those tonight. So far it’s just like period bleeding, although the blood seems thicker than usual period blood.

We have a scan booked for Thursday so we might go regardless and see what’s still in there and go from there.

[Stephlm]

I completely get it. Mark and I are constantly talking about things and our feelings but having you girls has been so reassuring and the support throughout has been incredible. It’s weird we’ve never met but recently I feel like we’ve almost become best friends overnight, checking in on each other and being there for each other throughout. I hate that our cycles have all ended up this way and I wish we would have all been able to meet up with our little baba’s one day.
Wishing everyone a good nights sleep xxx

[AmericanGirl]

My husband Matt knows how much I talk to you guys and he was asking if I think I’d ever meet up with you all. We live pretty spread apart though. It would be nice to keep talking though, even when we’re through with this round.

Sleep well everyone, and think bloody thoughts for me please!

[Natlovesnav]

Ill be starting on the 19th April this is my second round first one failed in march im scared for this one after taking meds i only had 2 follicles, then only one fertilized luckily it made it to transfer just didn't stick, my meds have been changed this tome and i am having an earlier scan i told everyone on my last one doing this one secret and hoping for the best

[Stephlm]

My mum asked the same thing, Rachel.
Sarah and I message daily on WhatsApp and it’s lovely, some days we’ll exchange over 10-20 messages it’s safe to say my second cycle has been a far less lonely experience than my first!
Well Rachel, I prayed for you so hard, I started my own too! Relieved my body has started the next steps naturally but hoping now everything clears out as it should.
Hope you’re ok Rachel and survived the night!
How are you Cherrie? Has the bleeding started to subside any? Xxx

[Stephlm]

Natlovesnav, I don’t know what to say other than please don’t read the history of this group as I’m not sure it will help fill you with confidence.

I had my first cycle in November and we only retrieved two eggs, they both went onto 5 day blasto’s but only one was good enough quality. We had that transferred and it failed just before Xmas.

I had a second cycle in February with increased stims and more progesterone and we retrieved 10 eggs, 4 made it to 5 day blasto’s we had one transferred and unfortunately I have just miscarried somewhere between 6-8 weeks. We have 3 little embryo’s waiting for transfer which we are so thankful for as it gives us some hope. Although I’ve gone on to miscarry, I hope my second round of collection will give you some hope for your next cycle.
If you have any questions, feel free to ask away!
Wishing you all the luck in the world xxx

[MSS]

Hi ladies im glad it has started naturally for you. Cherri sorry to hear what you had to go though. I wish you all the best ladies it can be long and draining road for us we just need to keep reminding ourselves one day it will be worth it when we have our miracle baby in our arms. Sending lots of love. Xx

[AmericanGirl]

Steph, I’m so glad you’ve started as well! Our bodies are very in sync, for better or worse. How has it been for you so far? Mine isn’t as heavy as when I bled a few weeks ago, and the cramping isn’t as bad, but there is a good amount of blood and some clots so hopefully this is all of it. Sorry if that’s TMI.

We could see where we are over the summer and any of us that want to could meet up, or even just virtually? Could be nice to put faces to names!

Nat, good luck with your cycle! Everyone in this group had their transfers back in February, so you are welcome to chat with us but I’m not sure whether you want to connect with people who are going through what you’re going through at a similar time. We’re here if you have questions though.

[Stephlm]

I think we’re past worrying about TMI.
Not bad yet, just like the start of a normal period and no cramping yet either. I’ve stocked up the bathrooms with toilet roll and heavy duty pads and popped a bed pad on the sofa under a towel, just incase. Got the codeine and a hot water bottle at the ready
Putting a face to names sounds nice!
I said to Sarah in our TWW that I hope one day our little babies will meet xxx

[AmericanGirl]

You do sound ready to go! Mine seems to be getting lighter, but no idea what’s to come yet. I’m going to call the EPU and see if they think I should still come on Thursday or if I should wait a bit.

Should we do a FaceTime first at some point? Would everyone be in for that?

[Cherrie87]

I said to Martin (hubby) last night that I usually just leave the forum after bad news so I don't quash any positivity for those still happily pregnant.

I'm so sorry you're having to go through this, that any of us are but it's been so nice to talk through it all with you. It can be so isolating when going through loss as the rest of the world just carries on as normal while we continue to be consumed by grief.

I'm so glad that you have both started naturally, I hope it goes smoothly for you both...

Nat, wishing you all the best with your cycle. But I agree with the girls, maybe this group is not the best idea as we will hardly fill you with positivity and excitement right now.
Although we are happy to answer any questions.

MSS - we've come to the end of our journey now so won't be trying again. We're going to have our remaining frostie destroyed... I have a 17 year old son so maybe one day in the future we'll have grand babies to love and cherish wish you all the best on your next cycle xxxxx

[AmericanGirl]

The EPU still wants me to come on Thursday. I think I’ve passed the bulk of it now though, it got much heavier and I passed a large clot/possibly tissue. Hopefully that was the worst of it. How are you doing Steph?

[Stephlm]

Mine has completely stopped and I’ve still got no cramping. I’d say this morning amounted to spotting and if I hadn’t known of the MC, I probably would have discounted it by now and say it was OK.
Glad you think you’re over the worst of it. How are you doing emotionally? Hope you’re holding up xxx

[AmericanGirl]

Steph, hopefully that was the start and it continues later tonight or tomorrow!

I’m doing ok. With mine having no heartbeat at all, it felt like it was done anyway, and I was just carrying around extra tissue. I tried not to look too closely to the big clots in the toilet though. It’s sad if you think about it too much. And I’ve been telling myself that the quicker it’s done, the sooner we can try again.

[Cherrie87]

Ah Rachel, hopefully that was it for you, hope you're coping okay, hope the appointment goes well tomorrow.

Steph, did you have anymore bleeding overnight?

The hospital called me last night to see how I was doing, I described my experience on Saturday and she said it was all very normal for how far along I was. Would have been nice to be told and maybe we could have prepared better and we could have saved ourselves alot of stress and worry. But it is what it is now.
I'm still getting heavy bleeding on and off, but I think I'm almost out the other side now. I'm going back to work next week so I'm both anxious and excited to get back to normality.

Xxxxx

[Stephlm]

Still no more bleeding for me, I’m getting so frustrated and anxious as I want it to start now so we can move on but at the same time I’m feeling housebound with the worry it’ll start when I’m out! I’ve started sanding the woodwork in the hall as we had just started re- decorating it #timing
Aww, cherrie, I can’t believe that’s normal and if so, why didn’t they for worn you!
How are you doing Rachel? Xxx

[Natlovesnav]

I am prob going to sound really thick lol but how do i reply to individual posts? can anyone help me?x

[Stephlm]

I wouldn’t worry, just post away, I’m sure we’ll all figure it out!! Xx

[cat13]

Sorry I've been a bit MIA, I was trying to enjoy being away, although my ongoing symptoms were a constant reminder.
I had my EPU appointment today and despite some super heavy initial bleeding then ongoing but reducing bleeding for the last 2 weeks, there was still a 1cm trace of the pregnancy. They say I could leave it and hope it comes out in my next period but it's already been 2 weeks and a) I'm worried about infection and b) want to move on ASAP, so opted for medical management. Cramping has started already so another night/couple of days of pads and towels for me.

Cherrie, I'm so sorry you've had such an awful experience this time. How are you doing now? Hats off to you with what you've been through - as the others have said, you're one amazingly strong woman!! Definitely more resilient than me!
Sorry if insensitive, but do you mind me asking if you ever had any further testing following your miscarriages, or of the fetus or anything after your D & C's?

Hi Rachel, lovely to call you by your first name. I hope everything is going as smoothly as possible for you. It's really not a fun experience. Have you decided whether you'll go for your appointment tomorrow? I know you're thinking of leaving it until after you're away - from personal experience, the altitude can bring on cramps from my understanding. Also, I really struggled with insurance/a fit to fly. Tbh, it maybe wasn't necessary, and one NHS Dr I spoke to couldn't understand why I'd need one, but I was really worried in case anything got worse whilst I was away. Sorry, I hope I'm not panicking you, I just don't want to not say and leave you vulnerable in any way.

Steph, you have an appointment tomorrow too, right? Have you had anything further since your last message? I hope you manage to book your trip away when this is all over too!

It's been really nice talking to you all - if you look at any other month in the forum, most haven't messaged half as much as this group. It's so lovely, despite everything. I've told my partner, mum and select friends about this group from day 1. Although I feel I came on stressed and panicked as it had taken days to be approved and I was short of time and really wanting some advice!! Sorry if I came across rude/blunt in any way, that's not me.

Nat - I believe you can click the quotation marks on the message you're wanting to reply to?!

Sorry, this has turned into a long one. x

[AmericanGirl]

I’m doing ok, still bleeding and some clots, only mild cramping today. I think I’m put my emotions on hold because I feel like I need to save my energy to monitor the bleeding. I also hate blood so I have to try not to feel too much in response to that, easier to just push it all away for now. I did some work from home today, which was a good distraction (watching Game of Thrones from the couch all day yesterday was a good distraction too!) I am going for my appointment tomorrow, we’ll see how it looks and whether they suggest medication.

Steph, I’m sorry you are at such an impasse! Hopefully they just start it off tomorrow and it isn’t too bad for you. We’ll all be sending you positive thoughts!

Cherrie, it is so annoying how they won’t tell you anything, isn’t it? We keep asking and they just say that everyone’s different. I wish they would tell us at least what the parameters of normal are! Are you still getting any cramping? Is it like a period now or still more than that?

Cat, so you took the medication today? How much blood and cramping have you had? I imagine your experience would be similar to mine if they do recommend medicine for me tomorrow, since I also lost a good amount of blood. And by the way, you never came across as too blunt! We are all in this together so we know how stressful it can be, so really don’t worry about that at all!

[Stephlm]

Cat, I was wondering how you were getting on, thanks for the update. I think we’re all in the same boat in wanting this experience to be over with and to be able to move on and return our bodies to normal.

I still haven’t had any further bleeding, nothing when I wipe and not even a spot on a pad. I just don’t know why my body hasn’t started responding but today we will start the medical intervention. I just need this over now. I never once thought I’d be wishing to miscarry or to see a negative pregnancy test after wishing for so many positives but being in limbo is killing us and we know it is already over.

Rachel, I hope today’s appointment goes well for you and they can confirm whether there are any traces left. Hopefully it will all be over for you soon and you can start looking forward to Geneva.

Cherries, as Cat says, you are one tough cookie! The emotional toll this has taken on us both has been insane and I don’t know how you went through this so many times. I can understand your decision to stop trying and I hope you get grand babies one day!

Sending lots of love xxxx

[Stephlm]

Cat/ Cherrie, I have done some reading around miscarriage and failed implantation and so has Sarah. We have both now requested full blood screening from our doctors and Sarah has even had her results back and sent them to Care for review.
If you haven’t already, take a look at the following website when you’re ready;
https://www.tommys.org/baby-loss-suppor ... scarriages
The hospital wouldn’t offer any miscarriage testing last week as it is only our first but my doctors agreed to it due to the IVF background and our prior failed cycle. I don’t know about you but we never had any tests over any above the Care tests before starting this IVF journey and we just want to rule out any other deficiencies or any thyroid problems before we do our next transfer. There may be nothing there but at least we will have extra piece of mind and if there is, we can do something about it before we potentially waste a good embryo and cause more heartache.
Xxxx