February 2024

[cat13]

I'm similar to Rachel and have done one of each. I did find the frozen transfer a lot less intense, which I think can probably be a benefit for your body as you're not going through all the medicated stimulation beforehand. x

[Cherrie87]

I've only ever done fresh cycles. But I'd imagine a frozen cycle to be so much easier in the sense you don't have all the stimulation, like cat said it was less intense.

Yes, we are still going to go for the review, not much else can be done now I don't think so it will just be to tell them our remaining embryo can be destroyed or used for training.

My sister in law had her baby the same week I miscarried, it's so hard to look at the pictures and I can't bring myself to go see them yet. But she is really supportive of me and Martin so she understands we will when we're ready. I know I will breakdown as soon as I hold her though xxxxx

[Stephlm]

I’m glad it’s not just me struggling with the newborns!
Cherrie, how was your first day back at work?
I can’t begin to imagine the decisions you're making Cherrie, I feel like although we’ve had two rounds of egg collection, we’re still in the relatively early stages of the journey albeit, we seem to be racking up more experience than I ever wanted!
Am I remembering correctly that this was a bonus embryo and they gave it slightly longer culture?
I’m assuming you’ve exhausted all the tests by this point and I have no idea if it’s possible or how much it would cost or if you would even consider it, but could surrogacy be an option? I know it’s not the ideal scenario! Xxx

[AmericanGirl]

Is everyone still bleeding or has anyone stopped? It’s been 8 full days for me now. It’s mostly brown, but still coming. It’s more annoying than anything because it’s a constant reminder of this horrible thing that happened. I just want to move on, you know?

Also, for those who are trying naturally for a bit, are you waiting until after your first period or just going for it if you ovulate before then?

[Stephlm]

Sounds like you’re nearing the end maybe! I’m still bleeding and passing clots!! I had bad cramps yesterday afternoon and just had a really emotional day, anything and everything was setting me off crying.
I bought some pregnancy tests today so I can test when I stop bleeding.
I’m going to start doing ovulation tracking once I stop bleeding and as soon as we get that peak it’s game on for us!!!
How about you? Has anyone done a pregnancy test yet? Xxx

[AmericanGirl]

They told me to wait 2 weeks to do the pregnancy test, so a week and 2 days to go still. Im still passing the occasional clot too, they’re just brown now, which is really strange.

I’ve read conflicting things about trying before a period. It says some places that you’ll be super fertile, but then sometimes it says that not always good cause your egg might just let any sperm in instead of waiting for a quality one. So I’m not sure that to do.

[Stephlm]

Yes, most websites say the bleeding can last 2-3 weeks, I really hope not
Ahh, I hadn’t heard/ read about that! Our nurse just said they tend to say wait a cycle so they can calculate dates easier etc. With Mark having low sperm count, our chances of conceiving naturally are slim anyway so I think if any of his sperm made it, we’d have to assume they’re good quality!!
I’ve read lots about prenatal vitamins and the importance of taking them, especially after miscarriage so I’ve ordered a bundle of vitamins from Zita West, specifically designed for a FET, not cheap but I’ll try anything!!
Have you got a follow up appointment booked in with Care? Xxx

[Cherrie87]

Hi ladies,

Works is okay Steph, it's as if I'd never been away really. A few hugs and kind words, then back to business. Some normality is nice.

I'm still bleeding, it's brown and not sure if normal but it smells horrible? Not sure if I have an infection so going to call the Dr's tomorrow morning. I still pass some clots but find its mainly bitty (yuck, I know) it will be 2 weeks on Saturday since the day from hell so I'm hoping I'm almost back to normal.

Have you all gone back to work yet?

[Stephlm]

I was signed off until 22nd and in all honesty, I don’t know if I’ll be ready to go back then or not. Physically, I’m improving and I had a better day mentally yesterday but I’m really not sleeping great, if I get more than 4hrs its a record and I still feel completely exhausted. I had some bad side effects with the meds and until yesterday was still struggling with diarrhea, which I don’t think has helped!!!

I’ve got an appointment on Friday for blood tests so will see how I am then but we’ve booked to go back to France on 25th for a long weekend -we both just feel we need a few days on a sunlounger, to escape life and some vitamin D.

I know what you mean about normality, I went for a walk with my parents yesterday and it was so nice to get some fresh air. I’ve been doing the odd hour a day of work whilst I’ve been off and just done 2-3 hrs this morning to keep on top of things.

I haven’t had any odour but I’ve read that it’s common and to keep an eye out. Maybe speak to the doctor or even ring the EPAU and see if they can scan you- you might not have had a complete miscarriage yet. My friend ended up with an infection after her miscarriage and all I’d say is if you’re not sure, don’t leave it as she ended up in a lot of discomfort.

Sending hugs xxxx

[AmericanGirl]

Your weekend in France sounds lovely! I’m looking forward to this weekend - we’re off to Geneva!

Cherrie, mine is brown and bitty as well, with the occasional clot or red colouring, but I don’t think it smells particularly bad.

I work from home 3 days per week and visit schools the other 2. I only canceled one day of visits on the heaviest day of bleeding, and obviously missed parts of days for all the appointments, but otherwise I’ve been working the whole time. It definitely helps to keep my mind off of it and I really don’t want to tell my work what’s going on. It’s just too personal to me.

Steph, my appointment is the day after yours!

[Stephlm]

Well done you, Rachel. I’ve just not felt up to it. I’d told my HR liaison I was starting fertility treatment in November (in confidence) as any leave/ time off falls under our works maternity policy so I was able to take off all my collection/ transfer days without using leave but everything went in my calendar just as holiday. I’ve told my immediate boss and my head of department what’s happened and they’ve been so supportive. It turns out my head of department had his two kids via IVF and he was actually annoyed with me for not telling him what I had been going through the last 6 months and has offered for us to meet with him and his wife and talk about their experiences/ journey etc.

Geneva is perfectly timed for you and I’m sure you’ll have a lovely time, it’s such a beautiful place!!

Xxx

[AmericanGirl]

Steph, that’s lovely that they’ve been so supportive! I’m sure my work would be too, it’s nearly all female and most have children, and I’m sure some have done IVF. The big thing is that I want a promotion that’s likely to come available in the autumn, and I worry that I’ll be passed over for it if they know I’m actively trying to get pregnant (even though that would be illegal). So for now, I’ll keep it to myself. I’ve just told work I was poorly on the couple days I’ve needed to take off here and there.

Yes, Geneva has come at a good time!

[cat13]

Steph that's so lovely to have so much support at work. It really makes a difference, especially when you have to miss days here and there.

How are you feeling today Cherrie? Have you spoken to the Dr/EPU or anyone?
x

[Cherrie87]

Ah Steph, that's really good of your boss.
My work are really good, I'm on a phased return so I'm not working all day.

I didn't get a chance to call the doctors this morning I was stupidly busy ill see how things are tomorrow but the pains have stopped so that's good.

Rachel, I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who's getting the gritty brown stuff. This miscarriage is completely different to any I've experienced before.

Me and Martin have been talking a lot over the last few days about our last embryo/egg donors and surrogacy but we've decided to not make any big decisions until we're through this loss 100%

[Stephlm]

I think that’s a good idea Cherrie, you don’t want to rush into a decision and later regret it. There’s so much to process at the moment

How’s everyone’s bleeding doing now? Mines finally started to ease and the cramps seem to have stopped, thankfully!!

Rachel, have the best time in Geneva!!

Xxx

[Cherrie87]

Yes, Rachel have an amazing weekend.

My bleeding is still the same, brown with the odd red and gritty. Wearing pads constantly is making me sore and uncomfortable though.
I slept on a towel and bed pad last night so I could get some air down there...

How's the decorating coming along Steph? Xxx

[Stephlm]

I’m feel the same Cherrie, I hate using pads and I’m also feeling quite uncomfortable. My bleeding is so much better again today so hoping the end is in sight!

The decorating is going OK, we’ve had a plasterer in all day today so there’s not much we can do now until that dries!

I had my blood tests earlier and the nurse asked me how I was going and I just completely crumbled and started crying. All of a sudden, I’ll just get this wave of emotion and it just hits me like a train.

How are you all holding up?

Have you got any nice plans for the weekend? Xxx

[AmericanGirl]

I agree with being so over pads! It’s so annoying, isn’t it?! I never wear pads usually, I’m fully a tampon girl. I’m still bleeding just enough to have to wear pads really, just little bits of brown. I really hope it ends as soon as possible. I’m just done with it.

We’re in Geneva now, which is a lovely change! I don’t like how I look in any of the photos because I put on like 10 pounds this round of IVF and I haven’t lost any of it. My acne is also at a lifetime worst. It was easier to cope with it when I was pregnant but now it seems like a waste.

[Cherrie87]

Rachel, I'm with you there on the spots! I usually have a breakout around my period, but the last 2 weeks I've had a huge breakout, I went and got some vitamin C and some hyaluronic acid serum yesterday to see if it helps bring the redness down..

Weight gain is also unreal, I was never a skinny girl but I've added a few extra pounds over the last couple of months with the pregnancy and then the steroids. So much fun isn't it...

Oh Steph, we had our hall stairs and landing plastered a couple of years back, the dust was the worst part. We only have a small 2 bed house so it was everywhere!

Hope you all have a lovely weekend, we've got blue skies and cold wind this morning but I'm going walk the dog and then meet a friend for coffee. Xxx

[Stephlm]

I’m struggling with my weight too! I haven’t braved the scales yet but I gained weight with my first cycle in November, wasn’t able to lose anything between cycles, despite eating healthy and going to the gym and now I feel I’ve gained even more. My clothes are all so tight and I just feel eugh!
I’ve not noticed spots but my skin has completely dried out and feels awful.
Yes, the dust is unreal, we closed all the doors but there’s just a film of dust everywhere.
We’ve got sunshine too, we live 10 mins walk from the beach so I’m popping out for my daily walk now too!
We’ve booked a meal this evening and we’re going to go out and have a little date night. Mark got some good news at work last week and I feel like amongst all the crappiness, we need to celebrate the wins! Xxx

[AmericanGirl]

Steph, I’m so jealous you live so close to the beach! I grew up a 10 minute bike ride from the beach, but now we’re a 2 hour drive, it’s miserable!

I’m glad I’m not the only one with the weight gain and spots. I think part of my issue with fertility was cause by my historic restrictive eating, so this extra weight is really triggering and it’s taking all I have to resist the urge to restrict myself again. It’s also so physically uncomfortable to not fit in any of my clothes, it just makes me irritable all to time to have everything a bit too tight. I don’t even feel I can diet because I’ll cause more issues for myself with fertility.

[Cherrie87]

I hope your date night went okay Steph and you managed to relax and enjoy yourself.

Rachel, I've put on so much weight the last few years going through fetility treatment with all the drugs and high and low hormones, I think poor mental health hasn't helped me any either. But our bodies go through so mich more than anyone realises while have fertility treatment.
Try not to be so hard on yourself, remember your body was getting ready to carry your baby, although it didn't work out the way any of us planned in our minds, I'm sure you'll get back on track and your body will be ready for when you decide to try again.

I hope Geneva has been a lovely break for you and your husband xxxx

[Stephlm]

Hope you all had a nice weekend? What did you get up to Cherie?
Our date night was lovely but I got a bit emotional at times. I’m finding it hard to look forwards at the moment and plan things. Hopefully after our appointment at Care, we’ll have more of a plan.
I think I’ve stopped bleeding now, thankfully! How are you all doing?
I read a few articles about weight gain and IVF and the average person gains between 8-12 pounds per cycle! I could rationalise it when I was pregnant and accept it but it’s harder now.
Xxx

[AmericanGirl]

We got back from Geneva today, it was really great to get away from it all, have some drinks and just not worry about anything real for a weekend!

Steph, I put on about 8 this cycle I think, plus like 5 last time around, so I’m right in there. I do need to get more clothes that actually fit me at my new weight though, I haven’t wanted to admit I need to but I will now that I’m back. I may have also finally stopped bleeding, just today though so we’ll see if it’s truly done in the next couple days.

[Stephlm]

Glad you had a good time. I’m now on countdown to France, feel like it’s my little reset date/ milestone!
I had my blood test results back yesterday and I have a follow up appointment with my doctor tomorrow. A few of my levels are on the low side, include Vitamin D, which having done some reading can significantly impact implantation success and can also contribute to miscarriage. I’m super glad I got them done and now I can focus on getting that up ready for our next cycle- I just want to give my body the best chance of implantation success! Definitely recommend you speak to your doctors about it and get some good prenatal vitamins! Xxx